Getting ready- We can get ready in very little time if the occasion requires us to do so. We can just put our hair up, change our underwear, brush our teeth and put on some casual clothes and be ready in the same time you are if needs be. Why women need to shower, style their hair and cake their face in make up every time they leave the house is beyond the simple chicks.

Are you an uncomplicated sort of lady?

Are you an uncomplicated sort of lady?

Fashion- We are aware that fashion exists; however we never follow it because jeans and a t shirt or sweater combo will never go out of style. Plus it saves us a pile of cash and time spent worrying over putting an outfit together- guys get away with it why can't we?

Heels- Do not expect us wear heels- we did that through Uni and it never ended well- even with a ton of alcohol to numb the pain, we could not get out of bed even to walk on carpet the next day. It's never worth the pain. If you don't want us to hang off you all night and complain about said pain then accept us as a little shorter and happier.

Hair- We don't spend hours curling; straitening and styling- we just give it a quick blast with the hairdryer or let it dry naturally. All those gadgets just wreck our hair anyway and take precious time away from being with you. If we get a bad haircut- it will grow back- lets laugh about it and move on.

Make Up- We wear a little mascara, some moisturiser and lip balm and that's all folks. Whenever we wear makeup- it just clogs our pores and we end up getting spots and the vicious circle begins. Plus we often forget to take it off on a night and this just makes everything worse. We like to wake up looking like we did when we went to bed- like men do. Our makeup bag is the size of our purse-seriously.

Nails- We keep our nails short and neat, maybe with a lick of clear nail polish sometimes but when we are out in the garden weeding, helping you with DIY or cooking up a mean dinner together in the kitchen- our nails get ruined and we have to do it all over again- what's the point?!

Jewellery- We don't want jewellery for Valentine's or Christmas- we wear the same earrings every day and maybe a watch. Anything more we end up taking off because it's too noisy or restricting. We would much rather you spent your money on something for us both to do together.

Shopping with the girls- We hate this- when we shop we like to make a list- go and get it- job done- a bit like a man. In fact we get along very well with our men folk when we go shopping because we have the same goal- buy decisively then find a place to eat and chat. We don't like to trail round shops and try on a number of different outfits for our friend's scrutiny. We really don't care about designer when we can get the same for a third of the price. We all have different styles and what our mates wear just isn't us and vice versa- we don't want their opinion- we know what we like- end of.

Nights out with the girls- This results in us sitting around waiting for the others to get ready and trying to engage them in conversation that does not involve- the matching of heels to handbags and which outfit makes them look thinner. Let's just go and get drunk already!

Dressing up- We don't do it often, and when we do it's just a dressier version of what we normally look like. A quality pair of jeans a cool top, jacket and a dressy messenger bag for ease, or no bag at all- because we have very little crap to carry other than a phone and cash. Our legs may not be exposed and our calves may not look longer but at the end of the night we are warm and walking with ease. If we go all out and wear a dress- it's generally for a wedding and because it's once in a blue moon our men really notice the difference. If we looked like this every day you would take us for granted.

Weather- If it rains we get wet- our hair looks sexier with a bit of precipitation and we know it. We don't lug around umbrellas.

Dates- We are pretty much game for anything- just tell us first. We are not bothered about messing up our hair on rollercoasters or getting a bit dirty on a hike in the woods- we don't let vanity get in the way of a good time. We are also a cheap date- a night in with a good movie, tasty snacks and a few cheeky drinks is good too.

Packing- We pack light- all we need is some clean underwear and a toothbrush and we are good to go on a spontaneous weekend. You never have to worry about sharing a bag with us- there is always room.

Holidays- We are fine with camping- so long as there is a shower and a toilet- that is all the luxury we need. Bring on the camp fires; blow up beds and board games when it's raining.

Nightwear- We don't go all out for fancy nightwear- it's generally an old t shirt and some raggy pj bottoms for us.

Lingerie- Lingerie is expensive and we all know the real prize is underneath. If you want us to seduce you we will walk into the room naked instead of fumbling with complicated undergarments.

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