No eye contact

No eye contact

Dates are all about getting to know one another and when you meet a new person you want to know everything about them.

But be warned, people do lie on a date - about their jobs, how much money they earn and their relationship history to name just a few.

So how can you tell whether the man of your dreams is making things up?

Former police officer and forensic psychologist Darren Stanton aka ‘the human lie detector’ is an expert when it comes to spotting deceit. Here are his top ten tips on how to spot if your date is lying to you.

  1. 1.     No eye contact

Sitting across the dinner table on a date will make it difficult to avoid eye contact so if your date looks away when you ask him a question, chances are he is hiding something. 

Eye contact is the easiest way to spot a fibber. A liar will find it difficult to look you straight in the eye and will be looking around to find an alternative answer.

  1. 2.     Too much eye contact

Alternatively too much eye contact may be another sign that your date is telling porkies.

It is a well known fact that not looking someone in the eyes can be a sign of lying so expert liars will know to keep contact.

These tricksters will overcompensate and maintain eye contact for too long as if determined to convince you that they are telling the truth.

If they hold eye contact with you for more than six seconds, chances are they are not telling the truth.

  1. 3.     Where they look

Take note of where your date looks when he talks to you. It is a little known fact that when right-handed people are lying they will look right and when left-handed people fib they will look to the left.

If you’re only on the first date you might not have gone into as much detail as which hand he writes with so check which hand he uses to pick up his drink for a giveaway.

  1. 4.     Check for blushing

Anxiety can make people blush so if your date gets a little flustered be cautious of what he is telling you.

Blushing is more common on girls than boys, so if you are dating a girl this should be easy to spot.

  1. 5.     Breathing pattern

Breathing is another tell tale sign that someone is lying to you but it can be hard to identify.

If his breathing slows down or speeds up it could be a sign that he is lying.

  1. 6.     Watch their hands

Hands tell a lot about a person so even if you do not know your date well enough yet, look at his hands.

Many of our habits are picked up when we are children and when children fib they, generally speaking, cover their mouth or touch their face.

When it comes to adults, any type of hand gesture that revolves around the upper body, chest or face, such as rubbing their nose or scratching their head indicates deceit.

Also if someone is holding an object, as they lie they will tighten their grip and hold it closer to their body. By doing this they are creating a subconscious barrier to hide behind. So if he has an extremely firm grip of his knife, fork, or drink it could be a sign that he is being dishonest.

  1. Do they have a twitch?

Liars often twitch when they are being untruthful so this can be one of the easiest giveaways as twitching is almost impossible to hide.

Sometimes it can be a particularly long blink, or it could be a tiny muscle in the cheek or neck. Men in particular have an area at the bottom of their nose that twitches when they are fibbing and rapid blinking can be a sign that their brain is working overtime.

  1. 8.     Overused fillers ‘ermm’ and ‘ahhh’

This is an obvious lying blip but it may just be a sign of first date nerves. 

Using words like ‘erm’ and ‘ah’ often mean that the person needs more time to think of their answer, which may mean that their story is not 100 per cent true if they have given themselves time to think of an alternative answer.

  1. 9.     Hold his hand

A discrete yet affectionate way of telling if you date is lying is by holding his hand.

As a general rule of thumb, we sweat more when we are lying and in particular on the palms of our hands.

If you suspect your date is lying, hold his hand, if it is dripping with sweat the chances are that you have just been lied to.

10.How they stand

Take note of your date’s body language when you are together.

Crossed ankles and arms are key indicators of someone who is lying to you. However, many people are aware of this trait and will try and over-compensate by being overtly open with their body language.

Similarly, liars tend to position themselves at right angles to the person to whom they are telling a lie.

 


by for relationships.femalefirst.co.uk
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