As today marks National Handbag Day, we take a moment to think of the women who voluntarily carry their entire world on their shoulders.
If they ask you to hold it- You feel like you're doing a workout at the gym. Literally- their bag weighs about as much as a dumbbell.
You wonder how they don't have mismatched arms- One huge one for the lugging of the handbag and one normal sized one because they never alternate shoulders.
They're prepared for anything- If you have headache- they have pain relief, a cold- they have tissues. A random receipt to deposit your tasteless gum? Coming up! Need anti-bac? They've got you covered.
When they clean out their bag- They need a black bag for all the detritus that comes out of it. You genuinely have no idea how they managed to condense it all down to fit. It's like some sort of Mary Poppins wizardry.
They're always complaining of a bad shoulder- And no matter how many times you tell them 'it's the bag' they refuse to believe the obvious truth.
It takes them ages to find anything- You've stood next to them while they've rooted around for their purse at the front of many a queue at the shops. And had some filthy looks from shop assistants to top it off.
They claim they need everything in the bag- And come up with a number of 'what if' scenarios when you challenge why they have baby wipes and no children, a lighter when they don't smoke and poo bags when your dog died years ago.
Their purse is like a filing cabinet- When they do retrieve their purse; it's so full of receipts, vouchers and points cards that it doesn't even fasten.
When you go on holiday- They can't take their handbag because your baggage allowance doesn't account for bags the size of suitcases. So transferring the 'essentials' from a holdall to a messenger bag takes as much effort as packing their entire suitcase.
On at least one occasion they've found food in there- They wrapped up some leftover bread for the birds- only to find weeks later that the birds never received their crumby gift and there is a hard, mouldy piece of dough in the bottom of their bag.