I genuinely thought I'd be rocked by last week's events and want to take a week or two to catch my breath, but I've never been one to sit back and wait for life to happen. As much as I cared about him, our break was for the best and not something to pine over. I've always been a big believer in only worrying about things that can be altered. I'm sure his wake up call will make him sort out his marriage and I will, no doubt, remain friends with him, if he needs someone to talk to, and he will. Who else can he go to about his marriage problems?
Relationships on Female First
Anyway, as most of you know, I've usually got three or four on the team and a couple on the subs bench. So, as I'm a man down, it's time to warm up one of the subs.
I'm arranging to meet the gynaecologist I mentioned a few weeks ago. It's still not sitting well in my head, but I'm going to give it a go. How bad can it be? He's hardly going to turn up on the first date with a tube of KY and a speculum in his hand. Mind you, if he did…
This week, I've also caught up with a fellow mistress friend. She has embarked on a new affair with a man she has been drooling over on illicitencounters.com for weeks. I know myself, when I start something new, I have a brief, and it is brief, moment of self-conscious doubt, because when women get to a certain age things aren't where they used to be. My 'moment' is always brief because I have usually chatted to, and met, the man several times before things progress any further. So, if he was going to have any doubts about whether he fancied me, they would be long gone, and so would he, before we got anywhere near the bedroom.
My friend was torturing herself about their first time though. She is in her late 40s. His previous mistress was in her early 30s, so you can see where her issue would be. As I pointed out, the 30 year-old clearly wasn't right for him, tight body or not, because he is no longer with her and is pursuing someone with more experience. If she was so perfect, he would still be with her. He's not, and that's great news for my friend. But equally, we have no idea what he is like between the sheets. The 30 year-old may have come to her senses.
It's so frustrating that women don't have the body confidence they deserve. Over 40 we are happier in ourselves and where we are in life, we are more comfortable with our sexuality and certainly know which buttons to press – this is why I receive so many messages from single men aged 20 – 25 every day. They all want to experience the older woman, for those very reasons. Sadly we can't all look like Amanda Holden or Kylie in our 40s. We are programmed to believe the media, and should be hidden away in caves as soon as the first wrinkle appears. Therefore, we are left feeling self-conscious when it comes to getting naked around a new man.
The crazy fact of the matter is men have the same body issues over 40, more so in some cases. They have to worry if parts are going to behave, and even work! But ladies, we need to remember, men of any age are usually so thrilled to be in a position of imminent intimacy with a new woman, when they look at us they are silently jumping up and down with excitement, and yelling 'Yay, she's naked, I'm going to have sex!!' in their heads! They don't notice our wobbly, saggy or wrinkly bits, they are too busy trying not to burst!
We should ooze sex appeal and confidence around new men, especially when we are in our 40s and older – but can I really practice what I preach around a gynaecologist?
Karen uses dating site IllicitEncounters.com
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