By Crystal Cansdale at The Inner Circle

Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

Looking for:


6ft or taller 

29 – 35

Less than 5 miles away


Smoker? don’t mind

Drinker? yes please

Children? no thanks

It’s easy to sign up to a dating app and set your preferences based on your dream partner.  But after you’re done swiping through the handful of ‘suitable’ singles, your chances of meeting the one are shot and you’re left with two options; wait for more people who fit your criteria to join the app or take a chance and widen your preferences.

You’re probably thinking ‘why should I have to compromise on what I’m looking for?’ and reader, you’re right, you shouldn’t. But I’m slowly coming to realise that it’s the people who don’t necessarily fit the perfect picture that might just end up being perfect. 

As a die-hard romantic, I revel in hearing stories of how couples met and the more I listen, the more I hear people in relationships say their partner wasn’t their ‘normal type’ or how they won them over with something you can’t filter for on a dating app.

And when I think about my own dating history, the people I’ve met and dated in real life probably wouldn’t have made the cut on a dating app either. But it was their humour, their charisma, their body language or their attitude that caught my attention. After that it didn’t feel like I was having to compromise because they were a little shorter or a little younger than I thought was perfect. It just felt right. 

Filters on dating apps definitely have their place. If you follow a certain religion for example, and only want to date someone who shares that religion, then of course it’s sensible to set your preferences. But could I be shutting out the love of my life because they are 5’11 and not 6ft? Probably.

In a survey we recently did for The Inner Circle - a dating app that helps people meet in real life - nearly three-quarters of single people said they’d be more likely to take a chance on someone if they had the confidence to come up to them in real life, and I’m starting to think there’s a lot to be said for doing the same on dating apps.

I’ve had people who aren’t necessarily ‘my type on paper’ message me on a dating app and just like in real life, they have made me laugh or said something that helped me see them as more than just someone who does or doesn’t fit the ideal.

So, I’m going to ditch my preferences and start responding to more of the messages I get from people who don’t ‘fit the bill’ to see if it helps me get a little closer to finding love.  

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