Relationships on Female First

Relationships on Female First

All of your dates will involve food- A meal out (obviously), cinema or theatre (with snacks), a coffee shop visit (with cake), a picnic (with a basket filled to the brim)- they can find food for every romantic occasion.

Don’t bother with flowers- They much prefer chocolates, crisps, cheese, biscuits- plus they are far cheaper- they are just thinking of your wallet really.

‘I made a reservation’- This is their equivalent of dirty talk- seriously. Food is the way to a man’s heart and also the way to a woman’s vagina.

They are not full when they say they are- When she utters those words ‘I’m full’- what she actually means- is ‘give it five then I’ll take a look at the dessert menu’.

Your relationship is defined by where you ate- ‘The meal we had the day before you proposed was divine- that dinky bread was adorable!’ and ‘Remember our first date? How could you not? We went to Pizza Express and then had nachos at the movies!’

She is a snob in the right places- If you are eating in a 4* or above restaurant she can comment on how much the vegetables are underdone and how the meat is lacking in complimentary sauce but she loves a greasy burger at a fast food joint all the same. 

She plans your meals out- If you are going to a restaurant that night, she will spend the day at work looking through their online menus and deciding what she wants. We may even forward it to you so you can speed up your food arrival time when you get there. She hates indecisive menu browsers.

She has bags for different foodie dates- If you are eating out- a small messenger or clutch will do- if you are going to the cinema- she needs to bring out her most generous of handbags that will house the popcorn, sweets and drinks she will smuggle in. Because neither of you are paying cinema prices.

She loves the reduced aisle- She gets actual kicks out of paying a visit to the reduced aisle in the supermarket- any food she can get at a discounted price is worth having, even if she can't eat all it before it perishes that same day.

She enjoys supermarket shopping- Many people see this as a chore every week- but she looks forward to it. She makes lists and rewrites these lists until she decides what she is going to buy for which upcoming dishes. She takes her time- so don't rush her! If you can't be patient- don't come!

She will cook for you- You don't always have to go out- she is willing to wine and dine you in her home because she gets a boost from people loving her food as much as she does. Just as long as you load the dishwasher afterwards. FYI- if you openly don't like her food- an argument will ensue.

Date ideas are easy- If you have exhausted the usual date ideas- then anything food orientated is fine by her. A trip to a farm shop, an outdoor food festival- hell- just a new grocery store in town gets her blood pumping.

Gifts are also easy- If you want to buy her anything edible or for her birthday, Christmas or Anniversary- she will thank you- but probably between bites. Cook books, aprons, kitchen gadgets and tools are all welcome!

She knows of places to eat on the way to things- A trip to the theatre- there is a McDonalds on the way! Going to see Grandma? There is a Frankie and Benny's right around the corner! Can we just……?

She spends most of her wages on food- If you want to book a holiday, or weekend away or someone's birthday is coming up- she needs some notice so she can adjust her culinary spends accordingly.

She gets excited by farm shop paper bags- She loves the rustle of the bag when she moves it around because she knows it houses some quality, unique produce that is home grown and great for her.

She needs cupboard space- When it comes to the kitchen- in her home she likes her food to be organised. Tins need to be lined up and facing forward- the herb rack is alphabetized and she likes to group similar things together. Any messing with her system and sex and dinner is off the cards. Even if you live together- the cook gets final say in the kitchen!

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