At times- men can suck- we know we can suck too, but I'm writing this so I'm focusing on the men folk for now. So we take a look at why our furry friends can be far better company than men.
They don't flirt with other women- They may sniff the butt of a female dog, but that is as far as it goes- you can tug on their lead when it becomes embarrassing. Plus you can't get jealous over a different species- you can over a leggy, size 10 blonde.
They don't snore- Unless you're really unlucky- most dogs don't snore like that of an unapologetic sober man or with the gusto of a drunken one.
They don't drink- Men have a knack of trying to fit in with their friends when drunk by turning into someone you don't recognise. If that means verbally bashing you, leering at hot women or showing their inner mysogynistic side- they will do whatever it takes to go with the flow. Dogs are consistent.
They listen- Ok- they may not understand what you are saying, but they have a sense when something is wrong. You can tell them all about your bad day, your worries and rely on them being around for your monthly breakdown and they won't walk off, roll their eyes or tut.
They don't watch porn when you go to bed- They go to bed with you- rather than getting themselves off in the other room when they think you can't hear them. News flash- we can.
They don't play games- Dogs don't hog the TV with their incessant thumb twitching. The only games they play are the ones you instigate and as soon as you are bored you can put an end to it- unlike their XBox addiction.
They clean up after themselves- If they spill their food, they eat it off the floor rather than brushing it under the kitchen cabinet or leaving it where it is. And they beg for food and don't just take it off your plate when they have finished with theirs.
They don't pretend to like people- If they sense that a person is a bit of a d**k, they won't bother fussing over them, unlike some of his friends who he gushes over and then comes home and promptly slags off. Yes men can be bit**es too.
They keep you warm in bed- They don't wait for you to warm up the covers and then jump and put their icy cold body all over you. They keep you at a consistent temperature all night long.
They keep you fit- They need walking and so you are forced to leave the house at least twice day to give them some exercise- so you get some too. Unlike him indoors who would rather get a take-out, watch trash TV, fart and scratch his balls instead doing something active as a couple.
They don't judge- You may have put on a few pounds over Christmas but unlike your partner they don't squeeze your love handles and call you 'fatty' for a laugh.
They don't give into perceived pressure- Many men feel the pressure to be the alpha male and earn as much money as possible to have bragging rights when they get together with their mates. Dogs only care about what really matters- not money or material possessions- just that there is a mutual love between you both.
tagged in Dogs