Dating and relationship expert Hayley Quinn answers one of our reader’s dilemmas as she struggles in her relationship because her partner appears to favour other women over her.
Relationships on Female First
‘My fiance has pictures of Jodie Marsh on his phone with her sprawled in all kinds of angles. When I asked him "why her" he simply replied (after a lot of him denying how they had gotten on to his phone) "because I like her body she keeps fit" now I am a little upset with his answer and I wish I never asked or even found them. I'm a size 8-10 I'm not over weight for my age but he knows I'm not happy with my body. All I ever find on his laptop is porn and photos of women's bodies, mostly porn stars. He tells me he hates blondes but most of these women are in fact blonde. Plastic boobs, fake hair. He tells me he hates these kinds of women! When I wanted to dye my hair blonde he told me I'd look cheap... so I don't understand. what the hell am I supposed to do to?! What can I actually do?’
Discussion board member
Hayley says:
This is a great example of how there can be a huge gap between people's fantasies and what they actually want in real life. Your fiance's fantasies are just that- fantasies and shouldn't be a threat to the bond you have, when push comes to shove remember you're the lady he wants to wake up next to.
Fantasies are often only sexy at arm's length: and what looks 'sexy' to him online is unlikely to represent the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with, which is you!
My firm advice is to believe you are what he wants and work to build your self-esteem so you don't need your partner's validation to know how sexy you look.
When you can look in the mirror and confidently feel 'I'm amazing' not because of your hair colour, or body shape, but because of the fantastic woman I'm sure you are you'll be in the best position to decide what's best for you. And that may well be having a partner that is honest, and respects your boundaries by keeping his online activity to himself, or canning it entirely in favour of the real deal.
Website: www.hayleyquinn.com
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