Laurel House is an international dating coach, author and spokesperson for AYI.com, a leading online dating site with millions of singles in the UK. We asked her about the recent stats that revealed both men and women’s dating profiles are viewed more or less depending on their hair colour.
Why does peoples’ hair colour have an effect on their dating profile views?
Beyond the photo and a few stats, there isn’t much to go on when it comes to first online impressions. And despite the fact that I coach my clients to look at photos last, most people can’t help themselves but latch onto the first thing that catches their eye, which biological tends to be bright and shiny. That’s one simple reason why women with blonde hair and men with silver hair tend to have more profile views. But it’s not just that initial glint that grabs attention. It’s what blonde and silver represent when it comes to a first impression…
Why are blondes more popular than all other hair colours in women?
It’s been long believed that blondes are sought after because they “have more fun.” While the fantasy does contribute to the fascination, it’s only half of the reality. Blondes are viewed as being more easy-going, spontaneous, unguarded, bubbly, excited, lively, upbeat, happy, in general, more fun. Blondes are also viewed as more angelic, sweet, innocent, nurturing and kind. There is a quality about blondes that taps into the male need to protect. It’s an interesting dichotomy- fun and innocent, that’s attractive to men. Blondes are also, naturally-occurring at least, much rarer in nature.
Why are silver haired men viewed more than silver haired women?
Certainly, gorgeous silver fox celebrities like George Clooney, Pierce Brosnan, Sting, Harrison Ford, Ed Harris, Liam Neeson, John Slattery and others make the average silver haired man even more attractive. But is it just the sexy look that lures women in? No, silver haired men appear more serious, successful, kind, interesting, and wealthy. They look like they are ready for a committed relationship, live the good life, and are looking for a real partner. AYI.com’s female members are coming to the site for more than a “hook-up” and men with silvery hair are sexy and also appear to be looking for more from their dates. Silver haired men have hair as opposed to having gone bald, which shows that they have also aged well and is biologically appealing. Men, on the other hand, do seek youthfulness in their matches, even if it is relative to their own age. Blonde, brown, black or fiery red hair is more youthful than silver or grey hair in women and therefore, a more appealing physical trait in a partner.
Why would women in London be the choosiest in the UK? Why are women in Liverpool and Manchester more likely to respond?
London is brimming with attractive singles and the sheer number of AYI.com members in and immediately around London makes it more of a “numbers game” than in Liverpool or Manchester, where the combined population is about a third of that in London. Women – and men – in London can judge each match by their own criteria and really be choosy because there are so many other members. It could also be a big factor that members in Manchester and Liverpool are extremely attractive and interesting, necessitating more communication!
What are your top tips for standing out online?
When it comes to photos…
DO post at least 5 photos. Your photos should show and tell who you are.
DO post a couple of headshot type photos that clearly show your face and features.
DO post at least one full-body shot. This photo should not be of you in a swimsuit. It can be of you doing an activity or simply posing for the camera. The reason for the full body shot is because this is an honest depiction of who you are. You don’t want to pretend to be someone you’re not or hide something obvious about yourself- they will find out when they meet you, and you want your date to be pleasantly surprised in what he sees. Many guys won’t even message with a girl who doesn’t provide a full body shot because he assumes that she is hiding her body. Don’t hide who you are.
DO post photos of you smiling and having fun! No one wants to hang out with the person who is always unhappy, complaining, bored, too cool, or walled up- and that’s exactly what a photo of you frowning illustrates. SMILE! Guys want to go out with happy people. They want to have fun. They want to laugh. Express that side of you.
DO post photos of you doing activities. If you like to hike- post a pic of you hiking. If you like to waterski- post a pic of you waterskiing. If you’re into skiing- post a pic of you skiing. If you had a transformational experience when you climbed a mountain- post that pic. All of the photos don’t have to be super flattering as long as you have enough photos that are. This isn’t just a beauty pageant, it is an expression of who you are.
DO post photos of you both dressed up and dressed down.
DON’T post photos of you drinking. One is fine, but you don’t want to come across as a major party girl.
DON’T post photos taken of yourself in the mirror. It appears as though you don’t have friends to take a photo of you.
DON’T post photos of you with other guys. Remember: guys are jealous. Even if it’s your best guy friend, he will think you dated him.
DON’T post photos with other girls. You are inviting him to compare you to your friends in the looks department. You also don’t want him to get accidentally confused as to which person you are.
What are other examples of likes and dislikes on dating profiles for the viewers?
We’ve seen in the past that women in the UK are looking for a tall partner (at least 1.85 m/6 foot 1 inch) and have noticed patterns in who contacts whom based on race (love is colour-blind in the UK, with daters contacting AYI.com members of all ethnicities frequently). We’ve also noticed that “EastEnders” is the top TV programme to list on your profile across all ages.
Please can you tell us a bit about your background.
I am an international Dating and Relationship Coach and Expert, MTV's MADE "It Girl" Coach, 4x published Lifestyle Author, and a go-to Expert on E! News. I recently sold my 5th book "Screwing The Rules: The No-Games Guide to Love," which will be released in December 2014 with Running Press. With over 12 million views on YouTube, plus my books and individual coaching sessions, I am able to deliver dating and healthy lifestyle advice to people looking for love all over the world. Because of my edgy, honest, and wide-ranging advice, I am often referred to as the modern-day Ann Landers. I have also been called the “Man Whisperer.” You can learn more about me on my website NoGamesLove.com