Love Mentor Elizabeth Sullivan guides us through another tricky dating dilemma.
Life these days is hectic, especially if you live in a big city; we are constantly pulled in lots of different directions. You have your job, your friends and your relationship to make time for. How do you balance your time between your friends and partner? Both are important to you. Your partner is the person you love and want to plan a future with and your friends have been with you through thick and thin. How do you give them both the time they deserve?
It may seem difficult, but here are some simple tips to keep in mind when organising your time:
- Make your boyfriend your number one priority. A partner who is also your best friend is a great basis for a relationship. However, they are more than just a friend and shouldn’t be put behind your other friends. Of course sometimes, due to circumstances, you will need to put another friend first, but usually your partner should be your top priority.
- Don’t forget your friends. Your partner should want you to have a life outside of the relationship just as much as you do. Your friends have been with you through the best and worst times of your life; make sure you are still there for them, especially if they’re going through a tough time.
- Make planning a habit. Try to plan your diary with your partner and friends in advance. Sit down together every few weeks and note the nights or days you are both busy i.e. when you have work, gym or special events. Organise to see your friends when you know your partner is going to be busy e.g. If your partner plays tennis every Wednesday evening that could be a great night to see your friends.
- Bring everyone together - If you have a diverse group of friends, try to bring some of them together by inviting them round to yours or going out for a meal as a group. Include your partner so they can get to know your friends. This avoids you having to divide your time up all the time.
- Include your friends in things you would normally do alone. For example; you could consider going to the gym together or doing your shopping together. This gives you the chance to see them more frequently.
- Make the time that you do spend with your friends or partner memorable. Whether it’s arranging a spa day or just going for a coffee, make the most of the time you spend with the people who are special to you.
If this isn’t possible, allocate one night a week as friend night, that way you are guaranteed to spend some quality time together. Remember all relationships need to be nurtured and finding a balance that works for you should keep everyone happy.