Kelsey Grammer and his wife have been reported to be living separate lives whilst he films his show The Boss and she lives at their home in Chicago, so can living apart really work when it comes to a relationship?
Relationships on Female First
Rochelle Peachey runs transatlantic dating site iloveyouraccent.com and says that you absolutely can have a successful long distance relationship.
She says, “They can and do work well if both partners are each involved in making it happen. Both need to Skype, text, call each and every day, no excuses.”
Christianna Caeliss, Love Goddess Coach at unleashingaphrodite.com, also believes that with work, long distance is something that can be overcome.
She says, “Distance isn't an obstacle, it's a challenge, but it's not a barrier to true love. Of course nothing replaces the intimacy of being together in person but I have seen how easily travel works out when two people are willing.”
Maybe distance isn’t an issue for couples that haven’t been together before, lived together, or spent an extended amount of time with each other, but what about a marriage?
If you’re married, have children, have lived in each other’s pockets for years and then work commitments drive you to be living separate lives, can you’re relationship really last?
Not according to Richard Collins, divorce and family expert at Charles Russell LLP, who says that once you move away from your family, it’s all downhill from there.
He says, “The key to a healthy marriage and relationship is open and frequent communication and shared experience. For those thinking of leaving the family to go and live and work elsewhere during the week, beware. Moving away for work often brings greater financial reward but it also brings unexpected temptations and unanticipated difficulties.
“For many, there is often a difficult decision to take a crash pad nearer work and a separation from home life, even for part of the week but, for some, “absence makes the heart grow fonder” is soon replaced by “out of sight, out of mind” and some couples sadly succumb to temptation or conclude they have little shared experience and nothing in common any longer.”
Rochelle Peachey feels that in order for this to happen, it’s important to remain in each other’s lives. She says, “Both need to maintain involvement in each other’s lives daily. Do things together every day. Play a game online or watch a TV show or movie to simultaneously. Send snail mail and small gifts, silly but very desirable.”
But is this enough to keep a relationship on track? Richard Collins believes that being in a relationship with someone means you should be together, and if you’re not, it simply won’t work.
He says, “Two of the reasons commonly cited for marriage or relationship breakups is adultery and that couples have grown apart. In my experience, deciding to be together but live apart is far from ideal. It is not a decision which should be taken lightly.”
tagged in Relationship Long Distance