Since Spaghetti Traveller became a couple’s blog, it seems to be the first question we ever get asked is how we cope as a couple travelling together. There are a huge amount of couples that consider jetting off to a deserted island together to embrace a new culture and new experiences, however the fear of the stress and strain it would have on their relationship seems to be a stumbling block I’ve therefore listed 10 tips you can use in order to keep each party smiling and laughing.
Choose A Location With Activities For Both Parties
It is important to consider whether a location offers something both of you will enjoy. If Raquel wants somewhere warm with beaches and I want somewhere that offers adrenaline fuelled experiences, then we can easily work together to find the perfect match.
Understand The Budget Constraints Of The Lower Earner
If one party wants to stay in hostels while the other is envisaging 5 star hotels and helicopter tours of the city then you are inevitably going to collide at some point. It is best to discuss this topic before you head abroad and work out compromises. If there is a high cost activity someone really wants to do then this is acceptable, providing money is saved elsewhere on the trip.
Agree The Splitting Of Bills Beforehand
Whether I’m travelling with Raquel or with a mate, I always have a relaxed approach where we spend money on each other and it balances out over time. However, if someone within the group tends to spend less or offer less frequently then it can be unfair on the other person, therefore a brief discussion can stop this from being something that builds up inside you.
Make Friends From The Start
I have seen couples who have travelled together and they have started reserved, which led to arguments when one makes friends with someone from the other sex. At the same time, I have seen couples who are incredibly relaxed with this scenario. The main takeaway I found was it seemed earlier they tried to make friends and embrace the travelling lifestyle, more the issues seemed trivial.
Plan, But Don’t Over-Plan
It is good to plan what you want to do during the next day, however our experience was that when we planned everything perfectly with an hour-by-hour schedule, we ended up snapping at each other when things weren’t running on time. You want to make sure you see everything when in a new city, but remember you are on a long holiday and you will enjoy it more when you spend time to take it all in.
You Can Be Separated
You might enjoy a large number of the same activities, but there will inevitably be some activities you enjoy that they won’t. It is crucial you do allow each other to go off and try these experiences and not demand that they are by your side, or visa-versa.
Try Small Holidays Before Travelling Together
If you haven’t been on a 1-2 week holiday together and are planning an extended trip together, you might not be aware of some of the ways you will clash. As well as analysing how you both do when stuck together for a long time, you are also recognising the areas you too will argue over. This way, like highlighted in the issues above, you can discuss beforehand and work out how to deal with these issues if they come about.
Travelling Is Exhausting
It doesn’t matter who you travel with, you will probably snap at some point, however this isn’t necessarily all to blame on them, or yourself for that matter. When you are travelling, you will face times when you are incredibly hungry, heavily sleep deprived or caught in a storm. These will all add to the stress, along with the fact you have probably been wearing the same clothes for several days. If you feel like this, take a step back, work out how to solve the situation and listen to your body.
Always Apologise If Due
To err is human, you will make more mistakes and mishaps than you can imagine while travelling, but that is the beauty of it. Every day is a learning curve, visiting new areas, learning new cultures and embracing a new way of life. Stubbornness and pride will get you no-where. You both need to agree to put your hands up and whole-heartedly apologise when you make mistakes, it will prevent an argument before it has started.
Be Careful With The Alcohol
I would never and will never tell a traveller not to have a drink. I think it is a brilliant way to meet new people in hostels, as well as having some of the most fun experiences you can have while travelling, but only you know how you and your partner are when drinking, plus when hungover. If you fight when you pass a certain level then keep this in consideration. A number of people feel very sick the next day or are unable to complete activities, which can be an issue if one of you was planning on something fun the next day.
At the end of the day, travelling is one of the greatest things you can do in life and the fact that you have someone to share all those special moments with is beautiful. You should never let the fear of relationship struggles stop you from boarding a plane. To quote The Wolf Of Wall Street, “the only thing standing between you and your goal is the b*****t story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it”.