Anonymous asks:

My partner of 3 years and I live in a shared house with a girl who is the same age as me. 

Due to my social anxiety I haven't really talked much to her whereas my partner has become quite friendly with her. 

I have no issue with him being friends with another female as I trust him but I still get this horrible jealous feeling. 

Today was what really brought me here, we have been trying to move out of the shared house for quite some time and he made a brief suggestion about moving into a house with rooms which to me implied this girl moving in with us. 

I don't know what to do as I really don't want that but I don't want my partner to think I'm being insensitive.

 

Sex and relationship expert Jessican Leoni said: “I think you need to have an honest conversation with your partner and find out what he really thinks about this girl. Is he just being a kind and sensitive friend/flatmate or does he have feelings for her? I can see why you would have jealous feelings over the situation. I don’t think those feelings are necessarily a result of your ‘social anxiety’. I think anyone in your situation, whether they had social anxiety or not, might be a little unsettled by their partner’s behaviour.

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

“You have been with your boyfriend for three years. That is a long time. You clearly love him very much and don’t want to lose him. It could be that you have completely got the wrong end of the stick and his assurances that he merely feels paternal towards this girl will allay your feelings.

“You are jumping to conclusions over the house move. Just because he wants to move to a ‘house with rooms’ doesn’t mean he wants this girl to move with you. He may just want a little more space or a change of scene with fresh housemates. Again, the way to sort out the issue is to talk to him and see if he wants the girl to move with you. Does she want to move as well? It could be that she is happy where she is and has no feelings for your partner.

“I feel for you. You suffer from social anxiety and that may well prevent you from thinking straight. Anxiety is a symptom of depression. If you have not already done so, it is worth talking to your doctor about this because there could be some medication and other remedies such as regular exercise which can help you to deal with this anxiety better.

“Talk to your partner and find out what he really thinks. If he does have feelings for this girl, he needs to make a choice between you and her because she clearly cannot move with you if that is the case. I think a more likely explanation is that he is a nice, caring guy and your social anxiety is making your imagination run wild and cause you to be jealous of this girl when your partner is just being a nice guy.”

Jessica is a sex and relationship expert for the dating site, IllicitEncounters.com 


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