Teen. asks :

Hi Lucy,

I'm a teenager and I just I've just moved to a new place. It's different and sometimes I feel like I'm settling in but other times... Well most times I don't. My mum’s boyfriend and his daughter also live with us and I am quite close with his daughter but we have iffy moments. But it seems like I'm always the one in the wrong. She always seems to have to be better than me, she always acts smart and says rude stuff and it offends me but I say nothing. I'm already self-conscious enough. And when my mum asks me what's wrong and I say nothing she won't leave the issue alone and she ends up being annoyed with me. And at school I feel alone and have no one. So what should I do?

Our Reply

Hello Anonymous,

Moving to a new place is always hard and takes time to adjust to your new surroundings and new people. Siblings and step siblings are always going to have their moments, so try not to expect to get on with this girl all the time.

Chances are if she is doing all these things, it’s because she feels insecure about herself. People who have stuff going on inside tend to shift the focus onto someone else. She might be just as self-conscious as you but she hides it well.

If your mum asks you what is wrong then it might be wise to tell her. She clearly wants to know and if she was aware of this then I’m sure she would do something about it. No mother wants her child to feel this way. She is only annoyed because she cares and wants to help you, so why not tell her and let her makes steps to improve things?

When in school perhaps you need to get yourself signed up to a club or something after school. Team sports and organised social events are a great way to meet likeminded people, so you don’t feel so alone. You are not alone, you have people at home that want to help you, so why not start there and talk to your mum. If you feel better about things at home then you will likely feel better about making progress in school.

The way you feel at school may just be reflection of how you feel at home, so one will help the other

Lucy x 

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