Anonymous asks:
I am still very nervous after lockdown. I have continued to stock-pile food, still get things I need delivered rather than shopping for them and would rather just stay at home now rather than go out. I am happy to spend time out with my family on days out (occasionally) but when it comes to socialising, I would prefer to stay at home. Is this a normal response? Lockdown has given me a new appreciation for things I can do at home and I enjoy being there more than anywhere else. Will I become a hermit or is it ok to be at peace in your space rather than out with others?
Relationship expert Jessica Leoni says: “I suspect that you were always a bit of a home bird before Covid and the crisis has simply exacerbated what was already a strong personality trait.
Image courtesy of Unsplash
“My view on these things is: go with whatever makes you happy. You don’t give me much background about your circumstances and whether you have a partner who is a little more extrovert and wants you to go out more. I suspect that isn’t the case because you would have mentioned it.
“You need to monitor the situation carefully and make sure your self-imposed isolation continues to work for you. It could be over time that you do get lonely and need to venture out more to meet people, but if it worked for you with Covid and it continues to work for you now we are largely over the crisis, then why change?
“Thankfully vaccines have made Covid a relatively mild illness for anyone who is not old or in a high risk group, so fear of infection should no longer control your movements. I don’t think it is with you - you just prefer your own company. Lots of people do and there is much to be said for it. You save money by not socialising - handy at the present time with bills spiraling - and you get the chance to properly relax and not subject yourself to those emotionally draining nights out which often don’t live up to expectations. I would not say that I am an introvert but my idea of hell - and I suspect yours too - is a party where I know the hosts but virtually no one else and I am expected to network/bond with new people. I cannot think of anything worse.
“One way of keeping up at least some human interaction would be to invite your friends around to yours if they want to see you. You could cook to compensate for the fact that the meetings are always on your terms. Real friends will make such a compromise and meet where suits you best.
“Be wary of becoming a hermit who struggles on the rare occasions when they do go out - try to keep your hand in with the odd day out so human interaction doesn’t completely disappear. It sounds like you are doing that anyway with the occasional family days out that you describe.
“Some of your behaviour is a little eccentric. Stockpiling food more than two years after the worst of Covid - when there were only food shortages for a few weeks and they were mild anyway - is pretty bizarre and you should be wary of succumbing to your anxieties and becoming a recluse.
“But if you continue to manage your life in the way you are now - with what I would describe as ‘gentle isolation’ - then I would stay in your own space. There is always this fear when you are staying in that everyone else is having a better time going out. It is often not the case and I suspect you will be far happier staying in your comfort zone.”
Jessica is a relationship expert for the dating site IllicitEncounters.com
tagged in Jessica Leoni
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.