Katie asks :
Hi Lucy,
So here's the thing. I’ve worked with this guy for 10 years and we have always had a connection and even kissed about 5 years ago. We have always been in a relationship so never had the opportunity to get together however he did always try and ask me when he was single and I said no. Recently he split up with my friend and I split up with my fiancé, he has left our place of work now and I told my friend I was seeing him and all of our colleagues. Everyone except his ex has been supportive and really happy for us as we are both really liked and she isn't. Anyway, he's recently been told he's being relocated to another store which is 2.5 hours away, I told him I will go with him and I really care about him but he said he's not in that place at the moment. I'm worried he's going to move away and we will never be together when I know we should be. In the 2 months of seeing each other he has told me the 10 year wait was worth it, he's been a true gent, the sex is amazing, he tells me I'm beautiful and kisses my forehead and tells me I'm worth so much. Honestly it's perfect. I'm so scared of losing him; it's bad enough we have been friends for 10 years and used to spend so much time together as friends anyway and now it's going to be even harder. Do I continue to see him and make the most of the 6-8 weeks before he moves away and out of my life forever? Genuine honest friends of us both have said he's smitten with me, doesn't feel like it. Help I'm going mad!! Thank you and much love xxx
Our Reply
Hi Katie,
Perhaps he is not ready for you to move away with him- but could you try long distance maybe? That way you could continue as you are but not have to many big decisions to make until you are 100% sure that you are going to be together for the long term.
You could carry on the relationship for the next 6-8 weeks, however this might make it much harder to break up once he has to leave- it might seem like a good idea now, however it might not feel like it when the time comes.
Could you consider going back to being friends for the run up to him leaving so you can wind down the romance to make it a bit easier on you both?
Perhaps if you do this and after he moves he might miss you enough to reconsider, if not maybe just keep the friendship going long distance instead. Whatever you decide perhaps consider your actions now and how they will affect you in a couple of months. If you can put in place some damage control now then you might thank yourself later.
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