Asks :
Hi Lucy,
I just overheard my husband talking about sex with another girl and when I asked him he admitted it. He said he will never do I again... should I trust him or not?
Our Reply
It may be that he feels he can’t talk about this with you- do you ever talk about sex generally or between you as husband and wife?
It is healthy to talk about sex with your partner- it means that you can have a better sex life if you both know how and where to touch each other.
Talking about sex with someone else other than your partner might be ok, however only if you have agreed to this within the relationship. Some couples are very open about their sex lives with other people, some like to keep it within the four walls of their bedroom. Have you discussed whether or not you have the freedom to do this before this happened?
He was only talking to her- there was nothing physical. If he has done nothing of the sort before then perhaps give him a chance to redeem himself. If those boundaries were not set about what you can and can’t talk about outside of your relationship then this has given you the opportunity to lay down some ground rules.
It may also have opened the door to talk more with your husband about sex. The more comfortable you are with this the more connected your sex life with him should be.
tagged in Trust Husband wife yin and yang agony aunt
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