Anonymous asks:
I have a friend who I have known for years now. We go back a long way. The trouble is, she is very opinionated- often about things she knows little or nothing about. While I have learned to accept this about her- she seems to be getting worse as she gets older. She never sees the greys in any situation whereas I do and when I meet up with her, I just end up coming away very angry. I don't want to end the friendship but it's really draining. Any advice?
Relationship expert Jessica Leoni says: “My advice here is: go with the flow. You say that you have known this friend for ‘years’ and that you don’t want to end the friendship - so just chill a little and accept that your friend is not perfect and occasionally is going to annoy you a little. That is the nature of many friendships. No one is perfect and we all have friends who have habits we don’t like. Try to ignore those traits and concentrate on the positive things which make this person a good friend - not least the fact that they are lively in conversation! I would much rather hang out with someone like that than a shrinking violet who never offers an opinion.
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“The reason why I am fairly relaxed here is that, whatever you say to your friend, they are not going to change. Yes they are a bit of a know-it-all, but they always have been and always will be and whatever you say, they will stick to their ways. In an ideal world, your friend will take a more nuanced view of life and see greys rather than always blacks and whites, but life is not perfect and we all have to put up with character traits from friends and family members that we find irritating.
“You do sound like you are a little controlling and intolerant of others’ failings. The reason why I say this is that you say you come away from meetings with your friend feeling ‘very angry.’ Why? I bet they don’t feel the same way. They have argued their point - probably wrongly - but they have enjoyed the discussion and don’t feel angry about friends taking differing viewpoints.
“Keep seeing those greys and taking a rounded view of the world but I would learn a little from your friend and not take yourself too seriously and just chill a little when someone you like is talking nonsense. Life is too short to take offence if, deep down, you like them and enjoy their company.”
Jessica is a relationship expert for the dating site IllicitEncounters.com
tagged in Jessica Leoni
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