Rhiannon asks :
Hi Lucy,
I started seeing my fiance last year, everything was great and a week later we made our relationship official. The following week I found out that he had sex with his "friend" two days after we first slept together. We moved on and are now engaged to be married and buying a house together. I love him to bits and wouldn't be without him. We have talked about it and he says I'm the one he wants, it was a mistake and he will do anything to prove it's me that he wants, but it still hurts :(
Our Reply
Hi Rhannon,
It’s bound to still feel hurtful, especially after you were intimate and had just made your relationship official.
It sounds like you are finding it difficult to move on from it, so perhaps some relationship counselling might help. That way he can discuss why he had sex with his friend, what it said about your relationship at the time and what is different now. It seems like you need to close the chapter on this event in your relationship history before you can move on and get married without feeling any doubt.
You say that you have talked about it- but perhaps suggest that you analyze it one last time- ask him for his honesty about why it happened and how he felt about things at the time. It’s all a questions of whether you feel you can handle this conversation just the two of you or with some outside help.
You are a long way down the line, but it feels like you need to get some closure and some commitment from him to show you that he will be faithful to you for the rest of your married life.
tagged in Relationship friend yin and yang agony aunt fiance
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