Kelly asks :
Hiya, A couple of weeks ago after a party a friend of mine walked me home and ended up coming into my flat (I live in student halls). We both very intoxicated, after he had brought me back I assumed he would leave but he insisted on staying. Had I been less drunk I would have forced him to leave but I didn't. I then got into my own bed and said he could have the sofa. Instead of getting on the sofa he came over and kissed me goodnight. It caught me off guard enough that I didn't get a chance to move away. After that I left my room and went to get a drink of water when I returned I found him passed out on my bed. So I ended up sleeping in the same bed as him as my sofa is very uncomfortable and there is enough room for two on my bed. Had I not been drunk I would've slept on the sofa even though it was uncomfortable. I feel really guilty about the situation I let myself get in and I don't know if I can tell my boyfriend. The whole thing meant nothing and I am completely in love with my boyfriend. If I tell him what happened I know he will break up with me for certain. Which will really break my heart. I know he won't find out from elsewhere and I now know never to put myself in that position again. But I am still wondering if I need to tell him what happened? Please help!
Our Reply
Hi Kelly, thanks for getting in touch.
If you keep it from him and he finds out, he may think that you are actually hiding something. What if the guy tells him and distorts what actually happened? You run the risk of the relationship ending either way, so surely it is better to get it out in the open and tell the truth before he hears about it from someone else.
You didn’t initiate the kiss, so you are not to blame here, however you could have asked him to sleep on the living room couch, you could have sleep on the sofa bed even if it was uncomfortable- things that with hindsight and a clear sober head might have made more sense. If it genuinely meant nothing then you night be able to convince your boyfriend of this, however you need to understated from his point of view that it does seem suspicious even if there was nothing in it. If he knows you well enough, he should trust you and realise that you wouldn’t do anything like that to him. It all depends on the strength of your relationship.
Good luck,
Lucy x
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