Lisa asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm trying to break away from someone. We've been friends for over 16 years and only used to see her a few times a year up until recent years when she's had way more time on her hands and wants to see or be on the phone to me all the time. I've now got to know the real her! She's pure evil! And it's been very hard but I've distanced myself recently.
Only thing is we're friends on Facebook with lots of mutual friends, scared to just remove and block her because I know how evil she can be and she'll turn people against me. She's already indirectly slandering me. What do I do? Thanks
Hi Lisa,
Agony Aunts on Female First
If people believe the things she's saying then they're not your friends either. If she is trying to blacken your name, then the people who love you and care about you the most know the real you.
Perhaps you just need to be straight with her and tell her that you don't want to befriends anymore- this might be a clearer message than unfriending her on Facebook and letting her come to her own conclusions.
If she asks why, then you could just say that things aren't the same as they once were and you're different people now.
Once you've done this then you could unfriend her on Facebook and still keep your account, or alternatively, take yourself off Facebook altogether. It sounds like there has been some trouble caused over your social media account and perhaps it's a sign that having it is doing you more bad than good.
If she wants to make a fuss and talk to other people behind your back then you can't stop her doing that- however if other people know her like you do then they may ignore it.
There are two people in life- drains and radiators- you should spend time with the people who make you feel warm and protected and stay clear of those who sap you of energy and positivity. If your gut is telling you to end your friendship, then perhaps you should trust it and tell her how you feel and walk away.
She will probably get bored of slandering you and move onto someone else.
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