Michelle asks :
Hi Lucy,
I have a boyfriend who I have been on and off with for three years and we love each other more than anything. Due to a lot of family problems I became depressed, got an eating disorder and I have terrible anxiety which really stops me doing things with him. Even just going round his house I get panicky about. What do I do?
Hi Michelle,
Agony Aunts on Female First
It sounds like whatever has happened in your family has had a lasting impression on you. Although it's important to think of how this impacts on your relationship, you must first think about how it has affected you. A relationship can only flourish if you help yourself first and foremost.
I would suggest talking to a counsellor to explore the feelings that might be causing you to feel depressed and anxious. Perhaps this will help you to work on what triggers these panicky episodes and find ways to build your confidence back up. This may be all you need, however if you find yourself struggling still, it might be worth visiting your doctor to discuss other options, such as more specialised support in the two areas you speak of.
By getting some help, your boyfriend may recognise the lengths you are going to improve yourself and your connection with him. It will help you greatly to have his support in this, so perhaps talk to him about your thoughts in getting help first so he knows what your plans are and can be there for you every step of the way.
All relationships go through times when one needs to lean on the other more. This is your time to rely on him and there will likely be a moment in your future when he will need you to be the stronger one.
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.