Hi Sasha,

It sounds like his accusations and his lack of understanding of your emotions are really hurting you.

Couples who have been together for a while do tend to have sex less, especially if they have children, as time is sparse and energy levels are low.

Perhaps he is saying this to you as a means of guilting you into sex, when actually being accused of cheating is the worst aphrodisiac in the world. Men attribute love from their partner with the act of sex, rather than women, who feel it more from emotion. Chances are, he is feeling a little unloved and jealous of the attention the children are getting perhaps. You saying ‘no’ might be making him revert back to his child like self because he is not getting his own way. If he admits that there is an issue with your sex life, then it is something that you both need to work on in your relationship. By blaming an outside source, like another man and you, it’s shifting the responsibility onto someone else. He likely doesn’t want to face the fact that your sex life is not what it used to be, but instead of talking to you about it, then he is focusing on another possible explanation.

Have you considered couple’s counselling? This gives you the opportunity to help you explain how you are feeling about your body after having three children and why your sex drive has dropped. He might also be able to discuss why he feels the need to accuse you of being unfaithful when sex is off the table.