Anonymous asks:

This is going to sound like a very common question. 

There's a woman who is a good friend of mine but recently I have been liking her more and more every time I see her. 

Our personalities click well, she makes me laugh, I make her laugh. She's one of the loveliest women I've met and she is beautiful. 

I haven't told her how I really feel about her because I'm worried that it will mess up our friendship. 

Should I take the risk and just tell her or keep things as they are now?


Hi there,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

I’m really pleased to hear you have a strong connection with someone special. The beauty of romances that evolve from friendships is that you have already become well acquainted with each other’s core values and personality traits. You already know each other’s quirks and little foibles. The healthiest relationships are based on an underlying friendship.

In this instance, you could certainly share your feelings with your female friend. However, proceed with care. No big declarations of love and passion. These could alarm her, particularly if she simply regards your friendship as nurturing and platonic. And beware, if you come on too strong, she may even feel a sense of betrayal.

In my own experience, I’ve been in situations where a friend has asked me out on a date, and it’s come as a bit of a shock, because I literally had no idea. I wonder if she has given any indication that she might feel the same way, it’s always helpful to have some insight about how romantic feelings may be perceived before plunging ahead.

Of course, you may risk losing the friendship should your friend rebuff your efforts and find the situation too tricky to get past.

However, your feelings are your feelings and it sounds like for you at least the relationship moved beyond friendship. Therefore, the most honest and authentic thing to do is to take that risk, share your perspective gently, and see what happens. Good luck!

By @Love_By_Rachael

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