krisha asks :
Hey I need your help.... I met a guy around 6months before. We chatted a lot and for 2months we were always on the phone or messaging. Suddenly after December, or should I say from January, things changed.
He stopped reading my messages or if I’d call, then he’d just say he’d call me some time but it would never happen. I was never a nagging person; I used to give him enough space but I don’t know what went wrong.
I asked a lot if he’d at least give me a reason but he never gave me anything... I need your advice - what should I do? I’m still in the dilemma: should I wait for him or should I forget him? I’m feeling so helpless....
Yin replies
You say you chatted a lot and were always on the phone or messaging - how much time did you spend together, in person? You used to give him space - but from what, your messages or from spending time together?
You’re probably safest to forget about him. Don’t press him for a reason. Maybe he just doesn’t have one. You have strong feelings for him but that’s no guarantee that he ever had the same feelings for you.
Accept that the relationship has reached the end of its limits and move on with self-respect.
Yang replies
If a guy wants to talk to you or message you, or see you, he will go to great lengths to make sure that happens. The minute you start pressing for reasons when they go cool, the more certain it is they’ll back off for good.
You say you were never nagging him but to be honest, the tone of your message sounds quite desperate and sometimes, nagging isn’t about continuous pestering; it can be as simple as being desperate for a reason, an answer etc. You need to move on. Definitely. Most importantly, learn from it.
Next time a guy starts messaging and calling, don’t be available every minute of the day, and don’t get caught up in text tennis. Be a bit mysterious.
Be a bit busy. And if he still goes distant, don’t chase him to find out why. Chances are, he’s got bored and moved on. It happens. The right guy won’t.
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