Ex Boyfriend Won't Leave Me Alone

harrie asks :

I’m 18 and in my second year of sixth form, so I’m slightly intimidated that my problem may seem immature or trivial. Last year I moved school for my sixth form education and within 2 weeks from the start of school term I had a boyfriend. Up till this relationship I had been a virgin and had a fear of kissing (but I was by no means frigid) this changed obviously and by November I was neither of those things. I put all my trust in to this guy in order to do those two things and I loved him and it was great, until 4 days after Christmas when he dumped me unexpectedly. I’ll never know why he did it as he never explained, all he did tell me was he didn’t know if he loved me and that he’d been flirting with girls over the internet, needless to say I was heartbroken. In one fell swoop he had destroyed all my trust. We got back together the day before new years eve but I two timed him at a new years party where I snogged a guy that had fancied me since the start of school. But we stayed together without trust on either side things went bad to worse, he flirted with girls on the internet every night and got cross with me all the time when I talked to any guy. We broke up again in January for two weeks, and we decided to get back together with the condition that we would try to make it work, but it didn’t by this time the guy I snogged (josh) was “in love with me”. Josh was one of my closest friends but I stopped talking to him in order to preserve my relationship I put all my effort in to my relationship. My boyfriend two-timed me at two different parties, till in the end he dumped me in a letter and left me to cry on my bed. I should of dumped him before then but I was ill from being half a stone underweight from not eating properly. Two days after the relationship ended I started going out with josh. I’ve been with him ever since, its now been 7 months, and josh stayed with me and helped me through 5 months of being ill with glandular fever, tonsillitis, cystitis, bronchitis then tonsillitis again and flue god knows how many times. I was a stone under weight putting me at 7 stone, all because the previous relationship put me through so much stress my immune system went to pot. But now my ex boyfriend wants me back, and this is the problem, I love him still and I’ve said no but he’s playing with my head. he walks to the park near me and cry’s down the phone, begging me to go talk to him, and I feel heartless cus I don’t go. He emails me and criticises my life what it means and he’s breaking my self-confidence piece by piece, txts me and says how much he loves me, he’s starting to scare me. Am I making a mistake? And what should I do? Because it’s really starting to stress me out and I’ve stopped eating properly, and I’m worried he’ll destroy my relationship. Help.