What is the domino dating effect?
Relationships on Female First
Domino Dating is the term I coined to describe my field-tested strategy for meeting Mr. Right. You date as many guys as possible, without getting physical, to give you perspective and practice as well as the best chances of meeting that special person. This way you create a sort of ‘dating ripple’ or ‘domino effect’. You’ll be clear and honest with dates that you’re not doing exclusivity or sex – just for the moment - so no-one gets hurt.
How can we be proactive when dating?
Do lots of ‘pre-dating’. See heaps of guys, not for dinner, but just for a drink lasting not longer than an hour – even if he’s drop dead gorgeous! Make your only goal on first dates to decide if he’s a ‘maybe’ or a ‘no-hoper’. This is because the stress of a first date can often block the essential flirt vibes. When you’re more relaxed with one another that’s when the chemistry kicks in. See all the ‘maybes’ again at least once. Research shows that most people in happy relationships did not recognize the potential in their eventual mate on their first date!
What is the ideal mindset to be in to find the perfect man?
A happy relationship is a fusion of two wholes rather than two halves. Be comfortable within yourself. It is important to be happy with being a singleton before you can be in a relationship. Finding love will not make you whole and happy if you are not already a rounded person.
How can you keep your sense of fun and independence while dating?
Explore lots of new and exciting things in your life in general. Not just guys. This will help with your overall perspective and balance. It will also convey the message that you are an interesting person, much in demand – both will increase your attractiveness. Make time for yourself as well as the person you’re seeing, for example, if you spend Saturday with him then have Sunday to yourself and do something you love, such as reading a book or seeing your friends.
What is the best way to overcome his fear of commitment?
Ensure you both have fun on date. Avoid serious subjects like what you seek in a relationship. Lots of curiosity and flattery will earn many brownie points – as long as it’s genuine. Just avoid coming across as really ‘needing’ a relationship. Avoid talking about wanting to commit or having children too early on. Just be aware that it is an enormous challenge to get two people together at the same stage of readiness for commitment. Patience is required. Also, explore other potential relationships if the one in progress is looking doubtful.
How much can body language and flirting affect our chances of dating someone?
The body bares all! How is your body speaking to him? Are you sending out the messages you think you are?
Mirroring his body language can be an important way of connecting. See if he mirrors yours in any way. What is he consciously or unconsciously trying to tell you? In my book, Smart Dating: How to find your man, you can learn what an important role this plays in disarming the nervous defences of the man you’re with, and in upping the level of ‘electric’ voltage that you need in order to move in to ‘super flirting’.
What are the top things that turn men on and off?
In my experience the main things that turn men on are women who are passionate, have a sense of humour, are kind and selfless. Things that turn men off seem to be emotional neediness, loudness and overconfidence.
What are the best things we can do on a first date in order to get a second?
Keep the date short. Always finish the date while there’s still heaps more for you to discover about one another. Stimulate his curiosity and he’ll want to meet up again to find out more. I always suggest that if the woman wants to meet the guy again she should move to end the date first. Also, she should not wait for the guy to say “I’ll call you sometime” – we know that men aren’t good around phoning, even the one you may end up marrying! Just say to the guy : “I enjoyed that, shall we give each other a call in a week or two?” This way if he doesn’t call you, no problem, you have ‘permission’ to call him without feeling you’re chasing him.
How can we reduce time wasting while we are dating?
Many singles find their loved one through internet dating but this can be an extraordinarily time consuming and disappointing process. If you can afford it, invest in meeting interviewed and ID checked guys through a personal dating agency such as Drawing Down the Moon which has finding love for busy, single professionals for nearly 30 years. Even if they feel they can’t help they will offer free dating advice about the best solution for you.
What are the essential skills we all need to attract the perfect partner?
To be realistic on one hand about dating people with similar culture, values and background, and on the other throwing the net wide and doing heaps of multi-dating. The practice this will give you will hone your flirt skills and give the essential perspective you need to make the right decision with the big moment arrives.
Mary Balfour is MD of Drawing Down the Moon, the original personal dating agency for busy professionals founded in the early 80s. All the introductions she arranges have been interviewed and ID checked. Many couples have Mary to thank for their happiness. Her book Smart Dating: How to find your man has helped thousands of women find love. Mary also runs free dating webinars – phone for details of the next one or check out the website.