Bethany Wright asks :
My friend always has some sort of drama. Be it relationship problems or getting in trouble with friends family work or other people. I like my friend but I hate dealing with such an amount of drama. I feel bad for feeling this way as I know he would help me if I had issues. But I can't help but think he could avoid a lot of the problems if he wasn't so stubborn and didn't think he was right all the time. I don't want to end the friendship but I feel if I talk to him about he would get that stubborn head on him that he would end it anyway. What should I do?
Hi Bethany,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Something that might help is not to react to his stories. If you ask lots of questions and show an extreme reaction to something he says, then this might spur him on. If you keep calm and simply digest the information without joining in with the emotions surrounding it, then he might not blow things out of proportion.
One thing a friendship should be based on is honesty- if you feel that some of the problem lies with him then perhaps think of a diplomatic way to tell him as opposed to coming right out with it. Is he honest with you? If so, then perhaps it's time to extend him the same courtesy.
You could discuss what he could do next time to prevent the same happening again for instance.
If he talks about a situation, then perhaps bring it back down to basics and talk about facts rather than emotions to try and help him to see that he is choosing to react in a certain way.
It sounds like he has a low tolerance to stress and perhaps what you would consider a minor inconvenience affects him on a greater level.
If he decides to end the friendship because of your honesty, then that is his choice, which is out of your hands, however he may respect your honesty and your opinion if he thinks a lot about you and your friendship.
There are things you can do to try and help him to see things differently. It may just take time and patience on your part to help him to get there.
tagged in friend
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.