Rose asks :
Hi Lucy,
My boyfriend proposed to me on holiday (yay!) but when I asked what the black stone on the ring was he told me he didn't know. He bought it online. When I looked it up on amazon I found out it was quite a cheap ring (£60), which for him is less than a day's wages (he is a junior doctor). I know money shouldn't matter but I felt quite hurt. Also he spent an hour buying it in a rush, and it's a little strange, I'm not sure I like it, but I've already shown people. I just keep wondering - why didn't he think about it more? Does he take me for granted?
Hi Rose,
Agony Aunts on Female First
Sadly rings get a lot more focus than the couple when an engagement comes around. There are also lots of rumours surrounding engagement bands; that men should spend the equivalent of three months wages on the ring, which can place a lot of pressure on the groom to be.
The ring is really a sign to everyone else that you are committed to one another- but to each other- the most important thing should be that the man you love wants to marry you and spend the rest of his life with you and vice versa.
Does he take marriage seriously? Have you talked about this before? If so, then perhaps he places more focus on the life you will share together than the ring. Are you saving for a house? Perhaps he would rather you had savings to fall back on if you need to purchase something as a couple than an expensive ring and less money?
Some men are not sensitive to a woman's concept of an idyllic proposal, which makes them very practical about the whole thing- perhaps you just had very different ideas of how the proposal would play out. If it was not discussed beforehand then he may have assumed that you wanted something simple and low key.
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