Sienna asks :
Hi Lucy,
Me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 6 years and for one of those years we were split up. He was seeing another woman who was the same age as him as I am 10 years younger, he was 31 when he was seeing her. We have been back together for over a year but it feels like he is comparing me to the other woman because he said he wanted me to get my clit pierced and I found naked photos of her on his old phone and she has this piercing. She also has more tattoos than me which he wants me to get more of. What do I do?
Our Reply
Hi Sienna,
It is natural to compare your current partner to your exes, however if you feel like he is asking you to morph into another version of her then it can it can pose a problem.
Have you talked to him about his suggestions or told him that you are aware of what he is doing? Maybe you could to tell him that you won’t change your body to be more like hers- if he loves you it should be more about what is inside, not body art or piercings.
He may not be over this girl so it might be in your interest to find out, so you don’t end up getting hurt further down the line. Even if you were to make these changes to yourself- it won’t turn you into her if that is his aim- so ideally he needs to decide who he wants. If he wants to be with you then he should accept you as you are- no modifications necessary- if he can’t then perhaps you need to look for someone who will.
tagged in Naked boyfriend yin and yang agony aunt
Need Help?
If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.