Anonymous asks :

HI Lucy,

I'm a virgin, and I haven't really done anything. My boyfriend is not a virgin and he's got a large penis, I've tried masturbating but I find it difficult and a bit painful, and haven't even succeeded. I'm not sure what to do as I want to have sex with him but I'm scared of it hurting, what shall I do?

Hi Anonymous, 

 I'm scared it will hurt!

I'm scared it will hurt!

Before you lose your virginity I would recommend that you have at least a few successful masturbation sessions. If you find it difficult and painful it could be that you have not used enough lube. Get yourself some and use this to start you off. Once you start to feel pleasure then you will naturally produce your own lube, however until then, give yourself a helping hand.

Masturbation is different for many women. Some like to go in an up and down motion from clitoris to g-spot (located just in the mouth or you vagina) and a lot of women get a kick from circling around the clitoris the entire time or doing this followed by alternation between the clitoris and the g-spot. Whatever you find comfortable for you- go with. Once you know how you like to be touched then you can tell your man!

Men start to masturbate in early teens and know exactly how they like it, whereas females can sometimes be late bloomers when it comes to knowing what makes their body tick.  

When the time comes and you do lose your virginity then make sure he wears a condom. If he has slept with other women then you could be at risk of an STD. Also, if he will agree to it, perhaps ask him to get tested at the local GUM clinic to make sure he will not pass anything onto you. Remember that sexually transmitted diseases such as Chlamydia have no symptoms.

Losing your virginity will likely be a bit uncomfortable as often the hymen breaks, which is the muscular wall around the mouth of the vagina. Expect a little bleeding and discomfort. Also; often girls contract cystitis or thrush after they first start having sex as the vagina compensates for the penis inside them and the changes in the bodily fluids you are creating and coming into contact with. I would suggest making sure you wash thoroughly after having sex to try and eliminate these problems. If you do get any symptoms that are different from what is normal then go and see your doctor.  

The most important thing is that you don't feel pressured into anything- if you do in any way then it's not the time for you.  

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