Anonymous asks:
I hate my body. I can't remember a time when I didn't. My only little pleasure in life is food but I know this is the reason I can't look at myself in the mirror. I don't know how to break the cycle of eating to make myself feel better. I'm nearly 40 now and all I have ever known is self-loathing. I don't want my daughter to grow up to view herself the same way as I do but I'm struggling to escape this mindset. Any help would be greatly appreciated.
Relationship expert Jessica Leoni says: “Body dysmorphic disorder (BDD), or body dysmorphia, is a mental condition where a person spends a lot of time worrying about flaws in their appearance. These flaws are often unnoticeable to others. People of any age can have BDD, but it’s most common in teenagers and young adults.
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“Well, that certainly sounds like you. I suspect you have developed BDD in your teens or early adulthood and it has not gone away. If anything, the symptoms are getting worse - to the extent that you cannot look at yourself in the mirror and all you have known at the age of 40 is self-loathing, as your letter makes clear.
“There are a number of good treatments for body dysmorphia. The first thing you should do is see your GP. They'll probably ask a number of questions about your symptoms and how they affect your life. They may also ask if you've had any thoughts about harming yourself. You may be treated by the GP, or they may refer you to a mental health specialist for further assessment and treatment.
“It can be very difficult to seek help for BDD, but it's important to remember that you have nothing to feel ashamed or embarrassed about. Getting help is important because your symptoms probably will not go away without treatment and may get worse. You can also refer yourself directly to an NHS psychological therapies service (IAPT) without a referral from a GP.
“Common treatments for body dysmorphia include a type of therapy called cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which you can have either on your own or in a group. Patients with more severe symptoms may be recommended antidepressants. I have no idea what is the best way forward for you but your GP will have helped lots of people with similar symptoms and should be your first port of call.
“You worry that your daughter will grow up to view herself the same way as you do. I’m sorry if I sound pessimistic but I think you are right to be worried. Children do mimic the behaviour of their parents and lots of psychological conditions are passed from one generation to the next. That is why you need professional help now. You have put this off for far too long. Book that appointment with your GP today.”
Jessica is a relationship expert for the dating site IllicitEncounters.com
tagged in agony aunt Jessica Leoni
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