Hi Jack,

There are several ways you can do this.

Firstly don’t act like you want a date from her, simply chat with her about every day stuff. If you go straight in with a romantic intention then you might scare her away and shows that you are only interested in her looks so far. She needs to understand that you want to know more about her than her appearance. Try to lay down some groundwork first. Girls like to be asked questions so perhaps ask her how she is, what she is doing at the weekend, if she had a good night last night. Ask open questions so she has to answer you- if she doesn’t know you well and you ask her a closed question then she is likely to shut you down. Try not to talk about yourself too much, but give her titbits about you to keep the conversation going and to keep an element of mystery about yourself.

Smile and watch your body language. Keep it open- so no folded arms, keep eye contact, with appropriate breaks and smile while you talk to her.  This makes you seem altogether more inviting and comfortable to be around.

Perhaps try finding her on Facebook and see what she likes doing, then if you are interested in the same things you know you will be on the same page and the conversation won’t go stagnant.

The most important thing is that you be yourself when you talk to her, girls are very good at detecting when you are being fake. If you don’t know about something she is talking about, then ask her more questions to clarify and be honest and tell her if you don’t know.