Hannah asks :
I've been with my boyfriend for a good few years now, and we're living together and talking about settling down. I'm usually really happy with him all the time but every time I get a bit of a taste of fun and attention from other guys, I get this huge urge to be free and single and live a different life. I'm only 23, and I've been with him for a long time. I've just got back from a really fun holiday with a bunch of people, and I've come home feeling empty and a bit trapped. Am I just being selfish and vain or does this mean something more??
Hi Hannah, thanks for writing in.
Agony Aunts on Female First
People say the grass is always greener on the other side. If you are in a relationship, you want the fun that a single girl has, if you are single you want the stability of being with someone. It could be just that. You have seen the fun you could be having if you were not attached and it looks appealing. However, how would you feel after you got it out your system? Would you want back what you had with your man?
Your emptiness and trapped feeling could just be this mixed with the normal holiday blues, that said it could be something more. If you feel empty and trapped when you are with your boyfriend then this is not the sign of a healthy relationship. If you genuinely think that you are too young to settle down then talk to him and suggest putting it off for a few years until you do feel ready or think about moving on if moving in together has been to much of a big step for you.
Fun and attention from other guys is great because it gives you a big self-esteem boost and reminds you that if you didn’t have your boyfriend that you still have options. They may find you attractive and you them, but would you connect with them as much as you do your current partner? In that snapshot of going on holiday, or being out in a night club, everything seems rosy, especially if you have had a drink; however you need to think about the day to day practicalities of it.
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