Mandy feels like she is losing her friends

20 July 2012

Mandy asks :

I am 14 years old, i have often thought of myself as mature for my age but lately i have been feeling like everyone around me is growing up so fast and im getting left behind, my friend don't seem interested in the same things anymore. I have tried to take an interest in other things but i nothing works, i am starting to wonder if they have changed or i have, i love my friends but we just dont mix like we used to, im not good at making new friends and am often seen as bitchy but most people dont take long enough to get to know me properly, i have tried to change but i just cant. what should i do?

Yin replies

Hi Mandy,
THe important this to remember is that there is nothing wrong with not liking the same things as everyone else, this is what makes life interesting. I know it seems important now, but as you get older the more different things you like, the more interesting converstaions you can have with people. Try to enjoy being a teenager, as you will grow up very fast and wonder where your childhood went. There is no need to be in a rush to be more mature than oyur friends. There is no point in trying to like something you have no interest in. it may be time that your friends are still your friends but you are simply not as close as you were, and that is fine. Its just finding the strength in yourself to be able to do some more things on your own now and enjoy it as you go!

Yang replies

If people think you are bitchy, why is this? What is it that you do in the first minutes of meeting someone that makes them think this? If people want to take the time out to get to know you better then this is great and those are the type of friends we want in our lives, the ones that love you no matter what and can push past initial impressions. Try getting yourself hobby that is just for you, this will give you the chance to focus on something else rather than trying to change for other people.