Can't Stop Thinking About Her

26 April 2007

taboshi asks :

i am married since 18 years have good wife, two children. about a couple of year back i girl who was dusky joined our company and at first sight she has come to my mind. but i could not advance my feelings for her and even now. she is married now and have two kids. she has left our office and joined elsewhere. however, her presence comes to my mind always and during my sex with my wife. i keep sending positve notes to her and she some times exchange. for the past few years i have been expressing my love in way or other way during her birthday and anniversaries. she just responds and not forthcoming. i have invited her for a lunch / dinner, but still she is not open. i feel i should honestly express my feelings to her since i feel responsible for my actions, i am back footing. is there any way i can take her into confidence to advance her love and interest towards me. why her memories still lingering in my mind even though she is not in our office. please advise how to forget her and erase from my mind.

Yin replies

If you are feeling this way about another woman, then I don't think that you should be stringing your wife along like this. But think about what you have to loose. A woman that you have been married to for 18 years. This isn't something to throw away like a pinch of salt. Try to put her out of your mind and concentrate on what you have got.

Yang replies

You must remember that you are married and have children, and knowing that you are feeling this way could devestate them. It is natural for everyone to have fantasies about other people, and sometimes even think about them during sex with their partner. However, you should not be inviting this woman out for lunch and contacting her in the way that you are. This is completely inappropriate. Not only are you putting yourself in a situation that a married man shouldn't be in, but this woman is also married and you are jeapordising her relationship also. You have a wife. If you are not happy then leave her and find someone else. In that order.