After being with someone for a while- you get to know what pushes their buttons in both positive and negative ways. We take a look at the common traps you fall into in order to get a rise out of your partner and what you can do to switch it around.
Revenge- If your partner has caused you pain, you want to hurt them back so they know to what extent.
Attention- You fear neglect and push their buttons so they will notice you and take you more seriously.
Desperation- You feel there is nothing left for you to do but this so you start to stir things.
There is no other option- Some couples don't know of any other way to communicate with one another.
Playing the victim- You point out all the negative things they do and how much it pains you to put up with them.
Dirty Looks- You give them an indication that something is wrong but rather than speak up you use your facial expressions to convey annoyance.
Rolling your eyes- You clearly don't agree with something they have done but refuse to verbalise what it is.
Manipulation- You try and curry favour with your partner for personal gain.
Not admitting to something being wrong- You use the phrase 'I'm fine' all too often when you are the opposite of fine.
Saying the opposite of what you really mean- To test them- but when they don't realise the game you're playing and it comes back to bite you.
If any of these sound familiar, there are a few things you can do to reverse these habits and thus improve your relationship.
Small gestures- Small things often have more impact than big things. Big things may cost a lot- but it's the little things you remember more. This could be writing your partner a note, sending them a text, making them a brew or giving them a compliment.
Become an expert- Pay attention to what your partner likes and ask them questions about themselves so you can know as much as you can about them.
Ask your partner what their likes and dislikes are - If you're not getting anywhere on your own, then ask them directly; at least you will get some confirmation rather than guessing and making assumptions.
Support and comfort- Such as; praise or a treat after an achievement like passing an exam or getting a promotion, talking to your partner after a difficult conversation or day at work or sticking by them at a social event if they are nervous in new company.
Pushing your partner's buttons negatively does a relationship no good- it just chips away at your partnership until there is nothing left. Focusing on the positive things you can do will make your partner feel secure, safe and loved which should be the aim of every partnership.
tagged in Partner