Check out your partner's bottom- As they bend over to take their shot, it's the perfect time to catch a glimpse of their behind without them knowing.
Pretend to be competitive- There's always trash talk even though you know you're both hopeless at the game, but you have to fake it to make it.
Take pictures- It's not every day that you hit a ball around a weird and wonderful landscape so it's definitely selfie and Facebook worthy.
Hold up the people behind you- You're both so bad at this game that it takes you several swings to get the ball where you need it to go and there's always a queue behind you of unimpressed people who have no time for couples enjoying themselves.
Make up rules- If you're taking too long, a little nudge here, a little cough and a kick there and magically you're ready to move on. The rules are made to be bent when it comes to this kind of golf- it is crazy after all.
Fake sympathy for your partner- When your partner misses a shot you make all the appropriate sad noises and tell them how close they were to getting a hole in one but you're jumping up and down inside that their failure means your path to success.
Come up with a prize for the winner- Whoever gets the least amount of points is allowed to pick the next movie you watch, doesn't have to make dinner or can ask for extras in the bedroom.
Decide on a task for the loser- Whichever one of you ends up with the most points has to give the other a foot rub, clean the house or do the dishes until the winner says otherwise.
Make at least one joke about balls and or a hole- It's inevitable, it's been done before but it's all part of the fun.
Insist one another round if you lose- Because you don't want to be a slave to your lover- who you know will use your agreement to their advantage.