It's that time of year again- Bonfire Night and if you're the lucky couple who's hosting the event- you'll recognise at least one of the following.
Hide your pets away- So they don't have to deal with loud bangs, strange people and so you don't have to contend with the aftermath of them eating gifted buffet food.
There's enough food to feed people five times over- You make too much because you'd rather your guests be stuffed than hungry, which results in you sending people home with food. And you and your partner get to survive on buffet food for the rest of the week.
There's a fire- Chances are- people who attend your bonfire night celebration want to see fire, so you can guarantee there is a chiminea or fire pit somewhere in the garden to satisfy the pyromaniacs in your friendship circle.
There are sparklers- And the jokers in the group always try to spell out rude words with theirs.
You all wrap up warm- It's the only day you would dare to go outside (unless it's snowing) at this time of year so everyone comes suitably dressed.
Marshmallows are burned- It's tradition to have them but they're always inedible by the time people have 'warmed' (cremated) them on the fire.
Someone nearly gets hurt- Because none of you are experts in the field of setting off fireworks- there are always some near misses and everyone's grateful to leave with eyes and limbs intact.
You litter your neighbour's gardens with bits of firework detritus- You weren't aiming for their garden but somehow more ends up in theirs than your own and it's embarrassing when the light comes up.
Your guests make encouraging noises- You can hear 'weeeee' and 'ooooooo' when the fireworks go up even though it's THE worst display they have ever seen in their lives- but it's all they're going to get so they make the most of it and fake excitement.
You wish you'd just gone to see a professional one instead- It's much less hassle, less dangerous and less costly all round but you do it every year and you have fun. So, you feel compelled to keep putting on your poor excuse for a 'show' and hope the food will keep drawing in the crowds.
tagged in Bonfire Night