Today is National Department Store Day so we remind ourselves of what couples get up to as they enter through the big, shiny doors. 

Run past the ladies with the perfumes and brushes!

Run past the ladies with the perfumes and brushes!

Check you both have your phones on you before entering- You know from past experience that it's easier than aimlessly wandering around trying to find each other.

Keep your heads down and move quickly through the cosmetics section- Before the ladies make you look like a clown and then try and sell you the products that make you look like you belong at a kid's party. All the while holding your noses so you don't sneeze from the haze of perfume that hangs around this section just looking to aggravate your sinuses.

Split up and go to your respective areas- The woman goes to the female area to look at feminine things and the man goes to the manly area- i.e. the technical section.

Head right for the sale rack- You probably can't afford that either but it's worth a look.

Come up with a business plan for a cheaper version of a department store over an overpriced cup of coffee- You would so do all your shopping in one place like this if its prices were in line with supermarket own brands.

Use the loo- Because you feel you've got your money's worth then.

Locate each other and look at things you can't afford for your home- All the while thinking; that table's nice- but it would take a year's wage to buy one chair.

Visit the toy section- You don't have kids but it's always fun looking at what rich kids play with and remind yourself of you misspent, poor youth.

Look at the Christmas decorations- And wonder if you could afford to eat Christmas dinner if you gave in and bought one bauble.

Imagine what life would be like if you could walk in and pick up anything you wanted- Without having to look at the price tag. Then you come back down to earth with a bang and leave.

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