How you wish you had the courage to go and say hello to that stunning girl sitting at the table opposite, or the beautiful waitress serving in the wine bar.
Relationships on Female First
Is it possible? How many of us have tried and failed. But some will succeed its just a case of getting the approach right and here's where we can help.
Here are five scenarios, Do you should break the ice with her, if so how, and what she will think when you do
Lets start in 'The Bar'
You're in a bar, there's a girl across the room whose eye you keep catching.
Do you make a move, to be honest its really a 'no brainer' in a word, yes. Of course you do. The bar, be it is a local pub, wine bar or posh cocktail, should be viewed as open season.
First though behave like a gent, this will improve the chances of you two hitting it off. In context you are there to have fun and at the very least cast an eye over the opposite sex every now and then. So what makes you think the opposite sex is there for anything different! Odds are they there for the same reason.
Bars give plenty of opportunity for you to learn a little about her without actually crossing into her space. Check out who she's with, is she showing signs of being interested in anyone outside her group, and so on. With your approach, you have so many to choose from. Eye contact, smiling, casual opening line and the offer a drink. Just don't let your ego get in the way of you reading signs and body language.
The Matt Shine Approach
Don't buy a drink too early, too early into the conversation and it may be interpreted as to presumptuous, or even creepy. Be you - don't try to be funny unless you actually are funny. Give the girl enough time to have had one drink first: the positive response is likely to be higher. If she's a smoker and you are, use it to your advantage, for example, opening line have you got a light.
If you have tried and she starts to look and act bored, give it up keep your dignity intact smile and move on. A big no no though would be to try to chat up one of her friends.
The Waitress
She's chatty, she's making eye contact, she's far more interesting and beautiful than the food she is serving!
Do you make a move, well that all depends on who you are with. If you're with your wife or girlfriend, the answer's no, whatever signals the waitress is sending out. With your mum, then as long as she is relaxed and cool or even if she's the sort that will tell the waitress she's pretty, her son likes you and make an intro, mums can be good. If she's fussing around her 'little boy, then it's most likely you will have blown it before you get started.
You have two things in your favour. Given her job choice, your waitress is obviously used to talking to people and you're automatically in a scenario where you can be just as chatty. Also she will be friendly as at this stage she will thinking about a tip at the end of the night so, as long as you've been polite, she's not going to crush your ego with a blunt refusal. The thing you need to be able to see through is - she's a professional flirt so you will have ensure you haven't misread the signals.
A couple of tips to help you decide if she's interested or not, throw in a simple "how are you?" - this is a question people don't ask a waitress but you'll it will instantly lift your appeal. And you can see how much she opens up in response.
Remember as before be 'normal', she most probably heard every naff chat-up line. If she is interested her thoughts will be, just talk to me, be friendly. If I like this guy, I will make it known that I like him and that it goes beyond professional courtesy. Be direct, but not pushy.
The barmaid
Follow the same path as you would with a waitress, she's also in a position where you can easily engage her in conversation even if the bar is busy - there's eye contact and a disarming smile. Just don't let your ego mislead you when it comes to you reading signs and body language.
Another crucial thought - don't go mad tipping her, she's not a working girl. If the bar allows her to accept a drink with you. Chances are if she likes you, she'll be buying one back next round.
The Office stunner
The office environment contains people you speak to every day at work. Then there are the people you have to speak to on occasion. And then there's M.S Stunning. Your paths never cross but how you wish they would.
The office arena has a full set of drawbacks so it's worth taking these into account before you try to break the ice with her. What's the company policy on office romances. Is she seeing the twenty stone bodybuilder in the warehouse. Get it wrong and you could lose your job, your income, and your ability to pay the rent. But on the upside - meeting someone you already have (in all likelihood) a great deal in common with. As long as there's no threat of being dissected in front of your fellow workers go for it.
Matt's Office Approach
The crash-and-burn potential is enormous in office flirtations. So do this wrong and you may never live it down. Bad chat-ups can lead to embarrassed resignations. Do your homework, if any of your colleagues know her - get the lowdown Is she a smoke, where does she have lunch? These points can be used to your advantage. Bide your time, no rush, try and hold out for an 'accidental' meeting - the pub post-work on a Friday, for example - even if she doesn't go every week, at some point your paths will cross.
Whenever you see her smile. and make eye contact. This is a must rule, if there's a communal kitchen, and you're there at the same time, offer to make her a tea. Say hello. introduce yourself, chat: most girls love banter. If you can pay a compliment do so but don't sound like a stalker. Make try to engineer a work-related problem and ask her advice. Even if it's not believable, she will find it adorable.
Shop Assistant
The appeal of the high street...
Do you break the ice with her, come on you already know the answer - Yes. You should. Just remember if spark is there, you'll regret it if you don't. The usual rules if your shopping with your wife or girlfriend it is maybe not the right time. Another time to avoid would be if she's helping you pick lingerie, or any other intimate gift for your other half, unless you can convince her you have a ultra sexy mum. Another situation best avoided is if she's a pharmacist selling you some sort of ointment.
Matt's Shopper Approach
Here is another in a position of interaction, so that's good. The odds are she's going to be outgoing and used to talking and dealing with strangers which is also good. There is some potential for crash and burn, but as a guy, you can take that rejection. Biggest downside is if she's in a shop that has a lot of male clientele, she's probably already been hit by every possible chat up line, so avoid the - I need this shirt 16 collar and I'll wear it on Saturday when I take you out, cheese. The best way is to leave the shop having made some sort of contact and then turn around two minutes later walk back in and hand her your number. Add a 'I know it's a bit silly but I wanted to give you this' - she won't be embarrassed, will probably get a bit of a kick out of it and it will look like you actually thought about it. She might never call - but hey what have you got to loose.
In most cases it will be down to you as staff aren't allowed to give out personal details, so if she is interested it's highly unlikely she will slip my number into your bag, by giving her your number is good give the girl a note with your number on it and then it's all in her court. But if she doesn't call, you may have to find somewhere else to buy your shirts.
In Transit - bus/train/plane travelling is a great place for possible love interests.
Should you break the ice with a stranger on public transport- I can't believe I'm still asking yes, yes, yes. If it's someone you see every day, and you get blown out well, you can always get the early train. And if it's a complete stranger, what have you got to lose?
Matt's Train Approach
If she's a regular commuter - easy smile, say "good morning", joke about the quality of the service. Don't fight her for the last seat. If it's a one-off, you've got to be good it will be one hell of a chat-up challenge. The bar, restaurant, nightclub, shopping centre, will all pale into insignificance compared. You've gone for the ultimate, the daddy of impossible chat-ups. There's no right or wrong here though - you've just got to go in and go in hit the deck running. Tip go for an easy opener such as "hello, who are you?" put on a cheeky grin - not lecherous though and just maybe it's your lucky day and you will get a response. It's a natural reaction to just answer the question - and if she asks who you are back, you are out of the blocks.
Your success rate will be purely down to 'Lady Luck. Get her on the right day and she will be swept over by your charmed, wowed and probably impressed, even ifs only by your cheek. Catch her on the wrong day, a Monday morning or after a bad day at work then it's a whole different scenario. I will recommend that you avoid the last train or bus. We've all thought about it but leave it as just that.
Matt's Key's
know who you're dealing with. Know your plan. And don't get clever. Be straightforward, genuine and honest - rich and handsome would help increase your chances of success with a stranger exponentially. A direct and engaging fun conversation is much easier than using any kind of chat-up line. Remember by striking up a chat with someone about anything from the price of fish to the weather and sure enough, the opportunity to get her number will come about. Just don't lose it.
Just remember two things - The bigger the challenge the bigger the reward punch above your weight.
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