It’s always a tricky situation, trying to figure out the acceptable time to move on and debut a new relationship so is there a firm answer?
Relationships on Female First
No, not according to Dr Stocchi of harleystreetpsychology.com, who says that we all deal with a relationship break-up differently and so will move on at difference paces.
He says, “This is a hotly debated topic and more often than not you will find the most common response to this is that we need a period of time to heal before we move onto the next person to fill that void in our life.
"I don’t necessarily believe this is true and this is very much down to the individual’s ability to firstly process their pain and deal with any of the underlying emotions that usually hold us captive from moving on.”
As it must have been for Liberty, coming out of a long-term relationship or marriage can be incredibly painful and can be a big loss.
Dr Stocchi says that when this happens there are several stages of grief that one will go through before being able to move on, these are:
- shock and denial
- pain and guilt
- anger and bargaining
- "depression", reflection, loneliness
- the upward turn
- reconstruction and working through
- acceptance and hope
Dr Stocchi argues that these stages must be progressed through before one can move on to another partner.
Individuals are often criticised for moving on too quickly, with some being criticised for finding a rebound relationships.
Dr Stocchi believes this is unfair in some cases. He says, “Be mindful of people who point out that you moving on is a rebound. I would challenge this idea especially on the grounds that you feel ready to have someone new in your life. However I would agree with this concept if the individual has not yet progressed through the 7 stages of grief.”
There’s always the worry that you’ll upset your previous partner by moving on too quickly. Dr Stocchi advises that you do take into consideration your ex-partner but ultimately do what’s best for you.
He says, “Be mindful that in any ending of relationships both parties will be feeling some kind of turmoil, and it is the individual person’s responsibility to be responsible for their own emotions and not the others.”
There’s no right or wrong answer for when the time is right to move on, Dr Stocchi advises, “The guiding light for any decision to move on is: if it feels right go with it.”