Demi Moore has bagged herself a new boy toy. This time in the shape of 26 year-old art dealer, Vito Schnabel. That’s 24 years younger than Demi and three years younger than Ashton Kutcher. And we all know that story. Married for eight years, Aston is now dating his former That ‘70’s Show’ co-star Mila Junis, who is still only in her 20’s. And left Demi close to a breakdown on more than one occasion, as she tried to get over her relationship with Ashton, and repeatedly failed while causing stress, trauma and family conflict in her battle to get her emotional life back on track.
Relationships on Female First
So why, almost a decade on, and in her 50’s does she think that dating another much younger guy could result in anything but more tears? Well, Schnabel has a track record of dating older women – including Liv Tyler and Elle Macpherson, so Demi has some sort of dating preference to go on. And there’s a school of thought that goes something like ‘if I’ve still got it going on, than what the hell’? But I can’t help feeling that Demi is looking for a long-term, secure and reassuring relationship – rather than a casual fling with a hot bod – and that this latest squeeze scenario doesn’t bode well.
We all know about Cougars, where women over 40 prefer to date someone significantly younger, but most of those women are not looking for something long-term. And if they are, they’re likely to be sorely disappointed as only a small percentage of these relationships, where there’s an age gap of 12 years or more, actually thrive beyond a few months.
If you’re tempted to bag yourself a younger guy – let’s look at some of the pros and cons:
The plus side
- Younger guys are generally physically and sexually hotter than their older counterparts. Beer bellies and moobs are still a distant twinkle in the eye, and they tend to have more energy too.
- Women not only live longer than men, they also reach their sexual peak around their late 30’s, while for men it is in their early 20’s. A perfect biological pairing.
- It’s an ego boost to have a hot, younger guy on your arm – letting the world know that you’ve still got what it takes.
- Younger men often have a more metrosexual attitude to life. They can whip up a quick and edible fuss-free meal, are well groomed, more in touch with their emotions – and more willing to communicate them - and tend to be more open-minded.
- Dating a younger guy can not only help you get back in touch with your younger self, it also encourages you to make more effort with your appearance, making you actually look younger in the process.
The minuses
- Tongues will wag. ‘Is that her son?’, ‘She looks old enough to be his mother’ and ‘She must be keeping him’ are not good to hear.
- Right man/wrong time. Where’s the common ground? When you want to chat music or TV memories, there’s always that awkwardness that an age gap will reveal quite quickly.
- Commitment. It maybe a word that have a lot of guys quaking in their boots, but none more so that the 20 something male, who wants to sow a lot more wild oats before he settles down.
- Insecurity – how will you ever relax? With younger women casting him more than a longing glance wherever you go, will you be able to deal with your own insecurities, jealousy and possessiveness?
- Family role – you may have had your children and not want any more, but he may well want children a few years down the line and you might not be able to provide that for him. And if he’s still virtually a child himself, how is he expected to cope with playing the father figure role with your own children, who may well resent him from the off anyway?
With websites devoted to older women dating younger men and women having enough props and attitude to keep themselves looking younger for longer, the Cougar/Cub relationship desirability isn’t likely to fizzle out any time soon. And if you think you can handle it, why not? But for Demi who has already suffered serious trauma from being ditched by a younger guy, there is certain wisdom in listening and learning from experience…
Follow Jo on Twitter @TVpsychologist and visit her website, www.johemmings.co.uk