Laura asks :

Hey Lucy, 

So I have this friend and we are best friends. I really care about him but I’m always the one who has to text him. Even though he says he cares about me and will always be there for me I just don’t feel like he cares. I didn’t talk to him for a week to see if he would talk to me but he didn’t. I don’t know what to do since I really want to uphold our friendship but I’m not sure if he does too.

 

Hi Laura,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

Perhaps you should talk to him about this. It sounds like this is something that is bothering you but you haven't discussed it with him.

If you tell him then he may make more of an effort to contact you more often.

Some people place less importance on texting than others, so it may not be you, but simply the means of contact.

How is it when you are together? Do you feel he cares then? If so then perhaps he just isn't bothered about texting. He has told you he cares about you- maybe he does. Is he there for you in a crisis? Some people are fairly lukewarm when things are normal, however they are better with bigger gestures- does that describe him?

If you decide to uphold the friendship without telling him then he may get confused. If you tell him why it makes you feel the way it does, then perhaps he will start to see it from your point of view. Similarly, if he explains why he doesn't text as much as you'd like, then you may find that his reason is justified. Communication is key here or your friendship might break down over something that could be resolved by a conversation.


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