Linda asks :

Hi Lucy,

My partner, soon to be husband has a step daughter. She is 44 years old with three kids and divorced. We are about to get married and she has not asked us anything about the wedding. She is perfectly amiable and likes me but why is she not asking?


Hi Linda,

She likes me but she's not asking

She likes me but she's not asking

It's possible that she has reservations about marriage if her own has ended in divorce. If it's only a recent split, then she might feel sad talking to other people about their big day if it brings memories of her own wedding day, given what's happened.

She may be happy for you and her father in her own way but she might be protecting herself by not bringing up the subject.

If you feel you have to know why she hasn't spoken to you about the wedding, perhaps you could talk to her about it. Or you could ask her for some help with something just to spark her interest.

Another possibility is that she is busy adjusting to her new single life, looking after the children and figuring things out. Maybe she is so preoccupied with that side of things that she has put the wedding to the back of her mind.

It could be that she is finding it difficult to come to terms with her father marrying someone other than her mother and is trying to deal with it the best she can without upsetting anyone. Or she simply might no longer have an interest in weddings and marriage if she was hurt badly in her last relationship.

There are a whole manner of things that could be going on here. However if you must know, it might be better to just ask her to put your mind at ease.

by for
find me on and follow me on

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.