Katrina asks :

Dear Yin & Yang, I have been friends with two people now for many years. One is a girl who's been my best friend for six years she's like a sister to me. The other is a guy who's been my best-friend for nearly four years. We're all pretty close but recently I feel like the third wheel. They are always hanging out with each other and it's almost like they're dating only they aren't. 

I also feel like I'm there whenever they need me but when it comes to me being ok I'm a last thought I don't know what to do. 

I've tried talking to them about it but it’s made her angry and started a massive fight between us that was only fixed when I apologised even though she was the one who made me upset to start with. I don't want to lose them, but it feels like they're already fully gone. They even made up a load of lies just so they didn't have to go out to the cinema with me. They say they love me, but I feel so down around them now it doesn't feel right but I really don't want it to be the end of our trio. What should I do?


Our Resident Real Fairy Godmother Michelle Zelli says:

I don't want to lose them, but it feels like they're already fully gone

I don't want to lose them, but it feels like they're already fully gone

Dear Katrina

I am sorry you’re feeling hurt and bamboozled.

Words are cheap, it’s easy to become confused - AKA ‘Gaslit’. A term used when the words feel sincere but the actions don’t add up. We often start questioning our own sanity.

Actions really do mean more than words and the actions of these two add up to a pretty flaky pair!

I wonder if you have a pattern of attracting a ‘Toxic Triangle’? Often families with three children can harbour this issue. Many people go through their adult lives without realising they’re recreating a feeling of (in this case) ‘being left out’. Check back to childhood, the way you felt around siblings will often reappear with friends in adulthood.

Step away Katrina. It’s tough to hear but you are engaging in self abuse. It would be easy to feel like a victim but you have the power to walk away, to focus on your healing and let them get on with their Toxic-Tango. Trust the Universal Law: What we do to others, is done to ourselves AKA Karma.

Ask yourself where else this kind of behaviour has shown up in your life. We are given repeating patterns to help us grow and change.

Decide what you have learned from this and how you’re going to put it into action in your future. This is a gift, a lesson or a nightmare. You choose, you have the power to change the trajectory of your future.

I wish you every success. Growth and change isn’t easy but the alternative is recycling old patterns that hold us stuck and small. You really do have the power! Use it wisely x

Michelle Zelli 

Michelle Zelli AKA ‘The Real Fairy Godmother.’ is a renowned international life coach. She blends her Blue Chip board-level background with spiritual wisdom and cutting edge science and has transformed her own life from a difficult and dysfunctional childhood to a successful executive.  Michelle is relentless in her own mission for self-mastery and teaching others to find their own powerful path. This dedication has seen her train with the very best globally, and has since become a secret weapon for celebrities and CEOs worldwide. 

Find out more at: michellezelli.com.

Follow Michelle: Instagram: michellezelli, Facebook: michellezelli

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