Anonymous asks:

I can’t stop thinking about my ex. 

We have been separated for 7 years and I think of her every day. 

I feel unfulfilled in life at the moment, in my current relationship and life in general. 

I don’t necessarily want her back, she’s happy with someone else and that makes me happy. 

Plus I doubt it would ever work as I was so horrible with how I ended things. 

I just want to sit down with her and tell her how truly sorry I am for how I acted and i’m happy she has found someone and is happy. 

But I have messaged her before in the past and my current partner found out so I can’t risk messaging her again without permission. 

But like I said, I can’t rest or live with myself knowing how much I hurt her.

 

Sex and relationship expert Jessican Leoni said: “First of all, well done for facing up for your past mistakes and realising that you need to make amends for your past behaviour. We all behave selfishly at times and do things we regret. It sounds like you treated this woman very badly. But you have now had the courage to acknowledge your mistakes and try to make amends. That all counts in your favour and shows that you are growing as a person. 

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

“It is difficult to see how you can reach out to your ex without causing further difficulty. You have been caught out doing so once already by your present partner who, understandably, wants you to leave your past behind and cut off contact with your ex. I can see where she is coming from and why she might be threatened by this behaviour. I think you should abide by her wishes and not reach out to your ex.

“I also think that you should try to forget about your ex and not reach out to her because  I really don’t think she wants to hear from you. You behaved badly. You have clearly told her that already. She has moved on with her life and is happy. The last thing she needs now is you seeking to reopen old wounds. She is probably well aware that you behaved badly and won’t want to be reminded of the fact, even in the form of an apology.

“Sorry to pile on the bad news but I think the fact that you are struggling to move on from your ex suggests that you have serious issues with your current partner. You say that you are ‘unfulfilled in life and in my current relationship.’  You say you don’t necessarily (my italics) want your ex back. I think that is exactly what you want. You are in a dead end relationship that is not making you happy and you screwed up your past relationship. I am afraid it is too late to go back to your ex - you blew it. I think you need to sit down and work out whether your current relationship has a future. If it does, then start being a better boyfriend and show your new partner a little more consideration. Move on from your ex and try to enjoy your new relationship more.”

Jessica is a sex and relationship expert for the dating site, IllicitEncounters.com 


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