Sahra asks :
Hi Lucy,
I'm going to end up driving the most caring and genuine and loving partner I could ever ask for away. It’s all down to past experiences 3 ex partners.
As much as I try not to let the demons spoil it's always there in my head.
He also had a bad experience for 21 years with his bipolar ex.
He believes in me why can’t I do the same? I ask myself this a lot!
Hi Sahra,
Agony Aunts on Female First
The most important thing is you know that this partner is caring, genuine and loving and that he is different from the rest. You recognise that you might be driving him away too- so if he is worth fighting for- you have the chance to turn it around.
It sounds like you have never gotten over the relationships with your exes and they continue to affect your present. Have you considered some counselling? Perhaps this would help you to work through the residual feelings left from your previous relationships and enable you to understand them better and learn to let them go.
It sounds like you both had negative experiences before you met each other so maybe you could talk to one another about the way your exes are still influencing your life now. It sounds like he might be understanding of it is he also spent a large portion of his life in a relationship that wasn't right for him.
Have you told him that you feel like you're driving him away? If that is your worst fear, then it might be worth sharing that with him. He may not see it the same way as you do and be able to reassure you that you can work through this together.
If he does feel like you're pushing him away then maybe you can talk about ways to become closer again.
It is really positive that he believes in you, however it seems that you need to work on believing in yourself so perhaps some professional assistance would help you to achieve this. You deserve to see yourself the way he does.
tagged in Partner
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