Laura asks :

Hi Lucy, 

My new boyfriend, who I have feelings for, had just told me that he has had 170 sexual partners. It's bothered me and I don't know why. Should it?

 

Hi Laura,

Agony Aunts on Female First

Agony Aunts on Female First

It is understandable that this might have come as quite a shock to you. Perhaps the amount of partners has made you worried about his fidelity to you. If he has trouble forming meaningful relationships with women, which might be an assumption you have made, then you may be concerned that he won't stay faithful to you or that your relationship might not last long. If you are worried about either of these things then it might be worth having a conversation with him. Given that it's such a large number- he may expect his admission to be followed up by some questions. If you want to be in this relationship for the long term, then it might help you to know if he is thinking along the same lines or you could end up getting hurt.

That said it's just a number and the important thing is how he is with you. If he is now ready to settle down and put an end to sleeping around then you may be the right person for him to do this with. Everyone has a past- it just so happens his has been more extreme than most. He may want a clean slate and to put all of that behind him so try and gauge where he is at emotionally before letting yourself fall for him anymore.

One final piece of advice would be to ask him to get tested. Having slept with so many women, there is a chance he may have had unprotected sex. Protect yourself and make sure that you are not putting your body in danger of contracting an STI. If you have already slept together, then it may be wise for you both to get tested to be sure.


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