Steph asks :

Hi Lucy,


A couple of weeks ago my friend got me to download tinder; I'm only 18 so I wasn't sure if I really wanted to start 'online dating', but I downloaded it anyway. One of the first guys I matched with was an 18 year old guy who was also new to tinder. We started talking and after just over a week decided to go for a drink. It went really well and he was exactly how I thought he would be maybe a little shier. We continued to talk and met up again a week later. This time after drinks we went back to his house and at first just stayed up talking and watching a movie but ended up having sex. We ended up back on the couch and slept snuggled up together. I had to leave early the next morning, before his parents work up but when we finally parted ways he gave me a measly one handed goodbye hug and barely made eye contact as we were walking and talking. It's been two days and he hasn't contacted me (I've heard if a guy likes you he'll make an effort to speak to you) I know I can make the move but I'm really scared of being rejected by him. I was staring to like him a lot more. Should I just try and forget about him? What should I do?

Our Reply

Hi Steph, 

It sounds like your first experience with online dating has thrown you a little bit after this encounter.

People do tend to make an effort if they like someone, yes. There are a couple of things it might be here. He might have been a little embarrassed after sleeping with you if he doesn’t do that very often. He may also have been worried about his parents seeing you on their way to work, if he didn’t want to have to explain to them that you had stayed over and the nature of your relationship.

It might be that he only wanted sex and not a relationship but didn’t share that with you before you were intimate.

If he has not shown any interest after a coupe of days, then I would suggest that you try to look forward to your next relationship. If he makes contact then approach it might be wise to approach it with caution; if you want more than sex with him then you should probably tell him before you end up in the same situation. You can make it clear what you want and if he can’t fit in with that then perhaps look of someone who values a monogamous relationship rather than a friends with benefits arrangement. 

by for
find me on and follow me on

Need Help?

If you need help or advice, you can ask Yin & Yang. It's quick, easy, free and you don't have to leave your real name.